You are not logged in. Would you like to login or register?



February 20, 2013 8:03 pm  #21


Re: Things getting worse and worse (help needed)

I'm sorry. I know that it stung when she said that, but believe me, she's not really mad at you. She's angry and upset with the whole situation, and sometimes that causes that to come out in unintended ways. I'm positive she knows how much you care. She probably feels conflicted because she's really upset, but she also might welcome the distraction of going to work, and she probably felt embarrassed about breaking down in front of her colleagues and having to leave. You're not the bad guy, and she knows that...she's just overwhelmed. I snapped a million things that I did NOT mean at my boyfriend while my mother was sick. I didn't mean any of them. I was just overly emotional and going crazy inside.

Just keep looking forward, and don't worry that everything will suddenly get a million times worse when her mother does pass away. Your girlfriend has already started to grieve, and the death won't come as a shock. She'll slowly begin to feel better, and one day not too far in the future, she'll find herself realizing that she's made it through the hardest parts.

 

February 21, 2013 1:26 am  #22


Re: Things getting worse and worse (help needed)

A couple things comes to mind:

1.  You're a convenient target to vent her anger.  She's really angry with her mother, but she obviously can't say that (or probably acknowledge that just yet.)  Remember, she's not angry with YOU, just the situation she's in.

2.  This sounds like things may be getting to be more than you alone can manage.  PLEASE continue to see a counselor, and don't push her, but I would encourage her to talk with someone professional or a group who have been through something similar.  She may need more help than you, personally, may be able to give.

Meanwhile, keep doing what you're doing.  You are doing all the right things.  When she's rational again, she'll thank you.


"We have our stalking memories, and they will demand their rightful tears."
Anonymous
 

February 21, 2013 8:48 am  #23


Re: Things getting worse and worse (help needed)

Tears, you can also find ways to get relief yourself and some sort of conscous detachment. When i was having problems a few years ago i started reading esoteric literature and i picked up a course in astrology and it helped me a lot in time to cope with distressing situations. I don't know what you feel about reading or if you're into spiritual stuff but if you're interested i can recomend you some titles..Meditation also helps..


''I like crying. And now I not only wanna cry and show my crying to other people, I wanna just split myself down the middle and open my guts and just throw everything out!''
Woody Harrelson
 

February 25, 2013 4:16 pm  #24


Re: Things getting worse and worse (help needed)

I had to watch my father and mother die pretty slow, so I know how rough it is.  I had the rest of my family, some close friends, and my church to fall back on.  If not for them, who knows what I would have done.  Surround yourself and your lady with folks you know you can count on, showher in every way possible how much you love her, and leave the rest of it to the Lord.  Prayers, best wishes, and serious hugs

 

March 28, 2013 6:28 pm  #25


Re: Things getting worse and worse (help needed)

Her mum is rapidly declining in health....they dont think she has much more than a few weeks to live...the cancer has spread at an alarming rate. My gf was starting to come to terms with her mother's impending death, until she recieved the news that her mum was deterating badly...My gf has moved in with me permanently that happened 2 weeks ago, which was helping take her mind off of things, but sadly she has just started to slip backwards again.. Obviously with her dad dying her past, and her mum very close to passing away, she is worried that she will have no one there for her. I re-assure her that im there for her. Many times im sitting with her, and she will suddenly start to cry...tears slowly start roll down her cheeks. At which point, i hold her in my arms, and kiss her on the head, and just let her cry, as she obviously needs to cry. The other night, we sat on the sofa just talking, we had some laughs and tears, but eventually she just reached the stage, where she just sobbed uncontrollbly..its tearing me apart seeing her like this, and just writing this, is bringing a lump to my throat..


there was once was a wise old saying...
     Thread Starter
 

March 28, 2013 8:27 pm  #26


Re: Things getting worse and worse (help needed)

Nobody likes to see someone they love in pain.  Keep doing what you're doing, and know I'm keeping you both in my thoughts.


"We have our stalking memories, and they will demand their rightful tears."
Anonymous
 

March 29, 2013 6:43 pm  #27


Re: Things getting worse and worse (help needed)

thank you


apolgies if this bores people, this is the only place i can properly write down my feelings..


there was once was a wise old saying...
     Thread Starter
 

March 30, 2013 2:35 am  #28


Re: Things getting worse and worse (help needed)

It's great that this forum serves as a place where you (and others, if they wish) can share personal experiences.  Very appropriate, so don't worry about it.    

tears wrote:

apolgies if this bores people, this is the only place i can properly write down my feelings..

 

 

March 30, 2013 1:15 pm  #29


Re: Things getting worse and worse (help needed)

I'm so sorry that her mom isn't doing well. As I've said all along, you're doing everything right. Hang in there, and post here as much as you need to.

 

April 5, 2013 5:11 pm  #30


Re: Things getting worse and worse (help needed)

stunned....

after everything ive done for her, and how much ive been there for her, she's asked for some time apart...im in pieces..


there was once was a wise old saying...
     Thread Starter
 

Board footera

 

Powered by Boardhost. Create a Free Forum