I think there’s more than one type of empathetic crier. The first type is a person who just feels the emotions of another crying person just by being around them, without needing to know the specifics of why the person is upset and without even needing to talk to them. The second type is a person who can maintain some initial emotional detachment from a crying person, but then loses this detachment once they start to relate personally to something that the crying person says. I hope that makes sense. I think your counselor is in the second category, as he could maintain his composure while watching you sob repeatedly, and only cried himself once he got some new information from you that he could relate to.
 
I’m in the first category. When I’m with someone, I’m sensitive about way they look at me, their facial expressions, and their tone of voice.
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tearhunter wrote:

​I imagine not everyone is the same... how did people react when you cried? How did you react? Did you allow tears to fall?

The first time this happened, my attending was speaking to the patient’s mother, and the mother was sobbing uncontrollably, and I just teared up. Because I was just standing there listening and wasn’t talking to her directly, I was able to hold it back pretty well. The second time, it was with a family I knew well, and I was talking with them directly so I couldn’t distract myself to interrupt the emotion. It was a woman, man, and their daughter all sobbing very hard. I had been talking to them for almost ten minutes beforehand and they were crying throughout that part, but once I had given them all the information I had and there was nothing left to say, I did sit with them for a few minutes and that’s when I started to cry. This time I did let some tears fall and I wiped them before leaving the room. The third episode was similar, but it was an elderly man sobbing, and I had one tear fall down my cheek during that conversation. My feeling was that none of these people had the energy to really care whether I cried or not, as long as I did it discreetly.

 

First I'd say hi as a first post, I was imtroduce myself(male) but jumping into a conservation feels a bit less scary.

truffle wrote:

I think there’s more than one type of empathetic crier. The first type is a person who just feels the emotions of another crying person just by being around them, without needing to know the specifics of why the person is upset and without even needing to talk to them. The second type is a person who can maintain some initial emotional detachment from a crying person, but then loses this detachment once they start to relate personally to something that the crying person says. I hope that makes sense. I think your counselor is in the second category, as he could maintain his composure while watching you sob repeatedly, and only cried himself once he got some new information from you that he could relate to.
 
I’m in the first category. When I’m with someone, I’m sensitive about way they look at me, their facial expressions, and their tone of voice.?

I'd say I'm probably more the second type, not that I can't pickup on emotional responses in people but theres definitely a big difference between just seeing someone crying(which does get a response) and knowing the reasons for it although those reasons don't have to be put into words.

I can definitely understand the original posters point about crying infront of men, personally I would say a lot of the background to who I am now is a response to years of building up an emotional shield to deal with being overly sensitive when I was younger(shy, prone to crying under stress) and the embarrisment/bullying this caused. I'm guessing this is somewhat universal but just taking to more extremes with those who suffer from it more?

Hi RF, welcome on the forum. I understand your concern about posting on a forum where anybody can read some of your innermost feelings and strange things happening to you. I felt the same! People here are quite friendly so don't be afraid to tell us some more about you.