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October 14, 2017 5:37 am  #51

Re: Who have you told about your crying fetish in real life?

TorNorth, to answer your question, I can't remember for sure how it came up, but it was early on when we were dating. Best I remember, she may have asked me straight up what my weirdest fantasy was -- based on the assumption that pretty much everybody has something.


October 14, 2017 3:16 pm  #52

Re: Who have you told about your crying fetish in real life?

I had a similar experience with a therapist. I'd seen her for years, and in all honesty was thinking we were coming to the end of our time together anyway - I was finding it hard to come up with stuff to talk about. So one session I told her I'd discovered I had dacryphilia - and she didn't know what that was! I explained it to her as best I could, but after that I lost faith in her competence and we stopped not very long after.

"We have our stalking memories, and they will demand their rightful tears."

October 16, 2017 9:33 am  #53

Re: Who have you told about your crying fetish in real life?

I’ve told my best friend, my boyfriend, and a few other friends who I can’t exactly remember. I used to be extremely paranoid about telling others, but I am now more confident about it the more I tell people. I’m still very private about it, though.

Last edited by Whimsy (October 16, 2017 9:34 am)


October 17, 2017 6:53 pm  #54

Re: Who have you told about your crying fetish in real life?

TorNorth wrote:

I can answer this question now. Few months ago, I told my secret for the first time to a psycho-sexual therapist. She congratulated me for being brave enough to talk about it, as I was clearly stressed out and embarrassed. And then she kicked me out. No, really. She said she didn’t have skills enough to help me, and that I should see a specialist. I was quite annoyed as I hadn’t gone to her seeking help for my dacryphilia - I just mentioned it so that she’d know all the facts.

​This is really shocking! Knowing a bit about psychologists and counsellors and how they are supposed to work this is wrong! They are supposed to be supportive and non-judgemental - create an environment where you can work through issues openly, in an honest and safe way.

​To say she could not work with you because she did not have the skills - well she should have offered you someone who did have the skills not just cut you off! What if you had been a suicide risk! The relationship between client and counsellor is important and both should feel comfortable working together - and if for any reason they can't from either side then both should be comfortable saying this might not work between us - but you should then be offered another counsellor. It's possible she didn't want to work with someone with a crying fetish but if as you say she was a psycho-sexual therapist - well it comes with the trade so I don't believe the excuse of she was not trained.

​Very weird... I'd say you have grounds to go back and ask for another counsellor how can help and will listen to you - with whatever you bring up.   


October 18, 2017 1:07 am  #55

Re: Who have you told about your crying fetish in real life?

I had a counsellor kick me out once.  After I spent two sessions pouring my heart out to her, she deemed that my problems were too complicated to fit the program mandate.  The service was free (paid for by my husband's employer), but was supposed to be for "short-term" counselling needs (4-6 sessions at a time, though could be repeated many times throughout the calendar year if you needed it!).  I guess she felt she had to stick by the rules and I guess my problems must have seemed too complex for short-term counselling.  I was shocked, to be honest.

Months later, I tried the same service again with a different counsellor and a different problem.  Wary of what happened last time, I told them up front that if this problem didn't fit the mandate, I could find another one that did (I have lots of problems) -- just tell me what I'm allowed to talk about, please!!  He ended up dealing with the *exact* problem I sought help for even though he admitted that "they don't want me to do this".  I don't wish to divulge what the problem was, but it was nothing to do with sexual or fetish stuff.

Basically, I think some counsellors are more willing to bend the rules than others.  For free services, I approach things with a bit of caution because I don't want to pay.  Free services exist for some reason some group has come up with and somewhere there is probably a document that states what's supposed to be covered and not covered.  I might feel more 'entitled' to talk about whatever weird subject I wanted if I was paying $200/hr for a private psychologist.  But just my experience -- others may have different ones!

Last edited by woundedpuppy (October 18, 2017 1:12 am)


October 19, 2017 2:57 pm  #56

Re: Who have you told about your crying fetish in real life?

I have not told it to anybody, though I may  have given hints to my wife, when she is sad I tell her I will always be there to wipe her tears.


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