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I've been seeing a counselor for a while now, and today I had another appointment with him. I guess he's about my age, maybe a bit older (35 y/o max I think). My appointment was the first after midday break, so I didn't expect to wait that long before I could enter.
While I was waiting in the waiting area, I could hear some light sobbing and/or sniffling. I was not sitting that far from the room in which these appointments take place, so that explains why I could hear it, although the radio that was playing in the background of the waiting area was making it a bit difficult to determine if it was sobbing or sniffling. Anyway, 10 minutes after scheduled time, I was finally called to my appointment. Well, my appointment went just like any other I've had with him yet. But I could clearly tell he had been crying. Somehow I just notice these things about men. Can't help it.
At the end, he apologised for being too late for my appointment, but something had happened before break time that hit him hard and added "we're only human" .I told him that he shouldn't worry, these things can happen in this profession and I completely understood that even they can have a tough time dealing with things a client may tell them. No worries . And no, I didn't think this was unprofessional, since it was said at the end of the appointment and it was only a brief moment.
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Nice obs! Yeah, I think some people forget that therapists are people too, and have emotions. I was talking to someone once about my therapist and they asked if I knew my therapist’s full name. I told them, and they were surprised I knew it. They said that some people don’t know their counselor’s full name. I found it interesting.
I agree that your counselor acted professionally. He gathered himself before seeing you, and he addressed his crying without interrupting your session.
I hope he’s feeling better!
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Nice obs, what are the signs you see that tell you he had been crying? Did you see tear stains, swollen eyes, red cheeks? I don’t know if I could tell someone had been crying if I’m not there while they cry.
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Amans lacrimae wrote:
Nice obs, what are the signs you see that tell you he had been crying? Did you see tear stains, swollen eyes, red cheeks? I don’t know if I could tell someone had been crying if I’m not there while they cry.
When I was waiting I heard sobbing and sniffling coming out of his office, and since I was the first appointment after break time it had to be him. That was the sign I think anyone could've linked to crying.
The fact that he still had a tissue in his hand, and the box of tissues was standing way too much into his direction on the table was also a sign for me.
However I have always been able to tell that people, and especially men, have been crying by just looking into their eyes. I know it may sound weird but somehow I can still see the tears that have been shed in them. It's like they seem to have a specific shimmer in them at that moment.
I can't really explain it, but somehow I can tell whether a man has just been crying or not. And one way I am happy about that, but on the other hand I sometimes tend to think "too much information".
However in this case I appreciated it that he addressed this to me. When he said that he's only human too, I couldn't help but smile at him in a supporting manner. It really reminded me of my eldest brother who also works in a similair field. I'll share that in a different obs soon.
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I like how he remained professional but also was ok being vulnerable in front of you. He seems really confident and sensitive.
You're the third person on this forum to have a crying therapist. This is more common that I would have thought.
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I know that tearhunter talked about his therapist crying once, but who else talked about it? I'd be interested in reading that obs as well.
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Oh, and my therapist has also cried in front of me a few times. I think they used to teach therapists that crying in front of their clients isn't acceptable, but now they teach that it's okay to share some emotions, so long as it's not infringing on the client's session. Like, a counselor can well up or shed a few tears if what the client is saying makes them sad.
I can share a few obs about my therapist crying, if you guys would like. Unfortunately, I don't remember many details, but let me know if you're interested. (My therapist is female.)
(I also just realized that the third person who shared about their therapist crying might have been me, lol. Let me know if it was me.)
Last edited by azutid (November 30, 2018 4:05 am)
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You posted a self obs in front of your therapist, but not one of her obs.