You are not logged in. Would you like to login or register?

December 3, 2018 6:24 am  #1

Another old observation

2 yrs ago I had to stay in CA with my uncle, grandfather and newborn daughter (for unmentioned circumstances) while my husband had to fly back to MA. We knew we'd be apart for minimum of 2 months, longest we'd ever been apart at that time. The night before he was scheduled to fly home I went into the guest bedroom and began balling my eyes out. My husband followed closely behind. As I was laying sprawled out on the bed my husband sat gently beside me. He was trying to say comforting words to me like "It'll be alright. It's only 2 months" and "we will message and call every night" etc. I told him that I knew all that but I was just sad that he had to leave me for that long as we'd never been apart that long. He told me to stop talking like that and to stop crying as I was going to make him cry. The next thing I knew he threw himself on the pillow and began to sniffle softly.  As soon as I recognized that he was crying I immediately grabbed his shoulder and pulled him up from the pillow (tears still streaming down my face). He quickly threw his head on my shoulder refusing to let me see his face. He continued to sob on my shoulder for what seemed like a long time while I hugged him and sobbed. When we were done crying we released our embrace and stayed up talking until the wee hours of the morning.

The next day my uncle drove my daughter, husband and I to the airport to send him off. We were quiet and stoic the whole drive. When we finally got to the airport we both broke down again. Him sobbing almost as hard as I was. We were hugging and occasionally he would lift his head up from my shoulder so I could see his tear filled eyes and the tears streaming down his cheeks. When we finally parted I cried the whole drive back to my grandfather's house and he told me he cried the whole plane flight home.

Last edited by Princess_Lucky1731 (December 3, 2018 6:42 am)


December 3, 2018 11:20 am  #2

Re: Another old observation

Nice obs, seems he also hides his tears from you, from the way you told this he seems more embarrassed for the tears than from the crying itself, as he acknowledged he would cry and didn’t try to stop it.
When at the airport, you mention he lifted his head so you could see his tear streaked face, at that point, did you try to wipe or kiss his tears?
Guess both of you need to take the next step.

Last edited by Amans lacrimae (December 3, 2018 12:36 pm)


December 4, 2018 5:38 am  #3

Re: Another old observation

I was in too much of a crying fit myself to really think about kissing or wiping his tears (although after the fact I thought that would have been a good thing to do). I did miss his trembling lips a few times and he kissed me back (not pull away).

There was one occasion about 4 or 5 yrs before this that we were lying in bed (he on his back). I rolled over to get comfortable (facing him) and saw one single tear escape his left eye, but before it got a chance to roll more than an inch I reached up and wiped it away with my thumb. He gave me a shy smile. Then I leaned over and kissed his cheek trying not to make a big deal of it but to let him know that it was ok and he shouldn't be embarrassed.
Maybe a yr or two ago he brought up that exact situation and explained that happened because he was thinking of his recently (at the time) deceased grandmother. I told him that it was ok and he said that he pretended to be asleep after that and when I finally fell asleep he let just a few more tears fall. Nothing in the sobbing nature but maybe 3 or 4 more tears, but he didn't want me to see. (I can guarantee by the way he said that, he was embarrassed that he let even that one tear slip in front of me because he's supposed to be strong and I'm supposed to be the weak one).

     Thread Starter

Board footera


Powered by Boardhost. Create a Free Forum