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August 26, 2019 2:55 pm  #1


A few more boyfriend obs

So, as I mentioned in my previous post about my BF, he's been dealing with an injury, and it's been a lot to handle for him. He's terrified of needles/ anything to do with the hospital, so when he needed to go in for surgery it was a pretty big deal.

I volunteered to bring him in and ended up waiting with him in the room until they brought him into the OR. He was basically panicking from the moment they got him in the hospital gown until he left me. I don't remember what started getting him upset, but I think it was when the nurse was talking about the IV, and he started crying a little. He was super embarrassed, and kept apologizing and trying to explain why he was upset. The nurse said something like, "it's okay, everyone handles it differently," and he said "I just need to explain why I'm crying over this." The nurse brought him some tissues and he used one to wipe his eyes. Once she got the IV in and left, he kept apologizing that I needed to take care of him, and I kept reassuring him I didn't mind. I can't remember exactly what I said, but it was something nice and he closed his eyes and I could tell he was starting to cry again. I apologized and said I didn't want to make him cry, and he said it was because he was happy, not all of the other stuff.  He was laying down so his tears fell from the corner of his eyes and down the side of his face, and I wiped a few of them away.

When he came out of surgery, I went to get the car so he could get right in, and the nurse wheeled him out to the pickup area. I got him in the car, and just before we drove away, he said "Thank you for bringing me to the hospital," and started to cry again. He then said, "I don't know why I'm crying!" and a couple of tears fell down his cheeks. I comforted him a little as best I could in the car, but he was okay after a minute or two.

Since then, he's been pretty much okay in front of me, but he did mention that the day after surgery all day he was on the verge of tears - he didn't sleep at all and it was really messing with him. He said his voice was warbly all day like he was about to cry, but he was trying not to. I didn't see him that day, but I wish I had!

And finally, the last one - last night he got upset again (the pain meds and lack of sleep are really getting to him), I had accidentally bumped the arm he had surgery on and he freaked out a little - it was fine, but he panicked and he was just talking about all of the things that are worrying/frustrating him, and then he could tell that I was upset for having almost hurt him and he started crying a little. He kept feeling bad for being negative, which made him feel even worse. I held him, and wiped a few of his tears away (he was laying down again, so they fell from the side of his eyes). We were quiet for a long time, but he kept looking me with his very cute, sad puppy eyes (he sort of naturally has these big, beautiful sad eyes) filled with tears and slightly red. After a little while, we were talking about how the meds are maybe causing him to have mood swings, and I think I said something nice again and he looked like he was about to start crying again! I asked him if he was crying again, and he said, "I'm tearing up! I don't know what's wrong with me!" He then went and got a glass of water, and I could hear him blow his nose while he was out there. When he came back, he thanked me for listening to him and holding him, saying it was what he needed. He said the same thing again this morning before I left for work.

He was glad that, when we looked up the side effects of the drugs, that mood swings and anxiety were on there, and said he's not usually like that... But he's definitely a pretty sensitive guy! I expect he'll be back to feeling normal in a few days time, but he has also mentioned that he cries whenever he is highly emotional in any direction - sad, angry, happy...

 

August 26, 2019 4:29 pm  #2


Re: A few more boyfriend obs

Good obs, seems he is getting used to be taken care of and you wiping his tears. I like the way you describe his eyes, and guess he will cry less once the medication is taken away. Let's see if the way he cries change as well.
Seems you haven't broken down yet, very resilient.

Did you notice him comfortable crying in front of the nurse?

Last edited by Amans lacrimae (August 27, 2019 2:41 pm)

 

August 30, 2019 3:05 pm  #3


Re: A few more boyfriend obs

Amans lacrimae wrote:

Good obs, seems he is getting used to be taken care of and you wiping his tears. I like the way you describe his eyes, and guess he will cry less once the medication is taken away. Let's see if the way he cries change as well.
Seems you haven't broken down yet, very resilient.

Did you notice him comfortable crying in front of the nurse?

He didn't seem uncomfortable, but definitely a little embarrassed. He kept trying to explain why he was crying, and apologizing for getting upset.

He went to his follow up today (I didn't go with him) and he said he cried when they were putting the cast on him because he got nervous.

I think generally, he gets embarrassed about his tears, but doesn't mind that it happens. He still brings up that he really liked me comforting him, which is really nice. He said he feels really comfortable around me!

     Thread Starter
 

August 30, 2019 5:15 pm  #4


Re: A few more boyfriend obs

MeAgain wrote:

He didn't seem uncomfortable, but definitely a little embarrassed. He kept trying to explain why he was crying, and apologizing for getting upset.

He went to his follow up today (I didn't go with him) and he said he cried when they were putting the cast on him because he got nervous.

I think generally, he gets embarrassed about his tears, but doesn't mind that it happens. He still brings up that he really liked me comforting him, which is really nice. He said he feels really comfortable around me!

Interesting, not common for males to show tears in public like that, lucky you, he expresses liking to be comforted. Did he mention any details, what about being comforted he likes (hugs, kisses, having his tears wiped)?

 

August 30, 2019 6:32 pm  #5


Re: A few more boyfriend obs

Amans lacrimae wrote:

Interesting, not common for males to show tears in public like that, lucky you, he expresses liking to be comforted. Did he mention any details, what about being comforted he likes (hugs, kisses, having his tears wiped)?

When it comes up, he usually says something like, "You're so nice - I like when you hold me and comfort me," or something along those lines, and says that he was glad I was there when he was upset. I like it when he bring it up! And I know, I really lucked out with this one! Hahaha

     Thread Starter
 

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