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January 21, 2020 5:28 pm  #1


Self obs from 2 nights ago

I was hanging out at my place with the friend i mentioned in the last obs from New Year’s eve. We grew pretty close in the past 2 and a half months so i got comfortable quickly with getting emotional in front of him. We were just chilling on my bed, he kind of dozed off and i just randomly started thinking about my breakup with the guy i wrote 2 or 3 obs about before i disappeared for a while (the one whose tear soaked shoulder i posted a photo of). The thoughts were really overwhelming as i haven’t seen them coming; moreover, i was sure that i was getting over the whole thing.
My friend realized i got quiet and motionless, and turned over to me (i turned my back to him when i got upset cause i sincerely wanted to be alone with my thoughts for a couple of minutes), placed his arm on mine and asked me what’s wrong. I wasn’t up to talk or anything in that moment, so i gently pushed his arm away. It reoccured for 2 more times when i finally snapped and turned over to hug him, placing my head between his left cheek and shoulder (i don't know how to explain this better, but he was on top of me and i was laying flat on my back). I began to cry really slowly, but he realized it before i shed any tear; i think the change of my breathing gave me away. He hugged me harder and said in a sweet voice “joj…” (which is basically an equivalent to “aww” in Serbian), and that’s when i shed tears onto his cheek and shoulder. He immediately moved away and wiped them. He hugged me in the same position again, asking me a couple of times what’s wrong and if i wanted to talk, and i refused. He then said gently “come here” and sat up on my bed, leaning against the wall, picked me up and placed me on his lap. That’s when i definitely broke down. I hugged him really tight and buried my face on his shoulder. I quickly felt a pond of tears underneath my eyes (my left eye kind of ended up where his neck began, so i was soaking his bare skin too). He was holding me tight, occasionally telling me things like “i’m here” and “it’s all gonna pass”. I calmed down after some time and moved away, we literally laughed and talked for a bit but i broke down again and this time buried my face onto his right shoulder (more like where his shoulder ended and where the beginning of his arm was). However my crying didn’t last for too long and i calmed down completely very quickly. He finally wiped my tears and we continued chilling normally. Oh and he also asked whether i want him to stay the night, but i reassured him that i was feeling okay after the crying session.

Last edited by andjyx (January 21, 2020 9:29 pm)

 

January 21, 2020 9:58 pm  #2


Re: Self obs from 2 nights ago

I hope you get over the breakup soon. I pictured It perfectly when you said you Buried your head between his left cheek and his shoulder, I assume he felt your tears on his cheek, he must be very sensitive in order to quickly get up and wipe your tears.

You mention your breath pattern changed before you actually started shedding tears. You seem to have shed many tears, even when you didn't cry that hard, did you feel your tears following a single path, or did he wipe several tear streaks?

You two must be quite close now as I can hint both of you are used to him wiping your tears.

Thank you for sharing, have a wonderful rest of week.

 

January 23, 2020 8:36 pm  #3


Re: Self obs from 2 nights ago

Amans lacrimae wrote:

I hope you get over the breakup soon. I pictured It perfectly when you said you Buried your head between his left cheek and his shoulder, I assume he felt your tears on his cheek, he must be very sensitive in order to quickly get up and wipe your tears.

You mention your breath pattern changed before you actually started shedding tears. You seem to have shed many tears, even when you didn't cry that hard, did you feel your tears following a single path, or did he wipe several tear streaks?

You two must be quite close now as I can hint both of you are used to him wiping your tears.

Thank you for sharing, have a wonderful rest of week.

I'm getting there, thank you. And you're absolutely right, i've had some amazing comforters in my life but this boy will literally hold me in his arms like a baby when i'm crying, which is something no one has ever done before. Its really sweet. He's also the type to silently let you cry as long as you need to, without giving you a feeling of pressure to stop at some point.

When i first started crying, tears from both my eyes followed a single path. However, he proceeded to sit up and place me on his lap very quickly, so the rest of the tears ended up on him since i buried my face in his chest almost immediately.

We grew really, really close in such a short time; i've known him not more than a month and a half when he first cried in front of me and it was about a serious matter. I think that night really made us grow closer, also funny thing is this is maybe the first occasion where i am the first person to witness someone close to me cry; its almost always the other way round, and there's a lot of people in my closer circle who i've never even seen cry.

Last edited by andjyx (January 23, 2020 8:40 pm)

     Thread Starter
 

January 24, 2020 6:35 am  #4


Re: Self obs from 2 nights ago

andjyx wrote:

We grew really, really close in such a short time; i've known him not more than a month and a half when he first cried in front of me and it was about a serious matter. I think that night really made us grow closer, also funny thing is this is maybe the first occasion where i am the first person to witness someone close to me cry; its almost always the other way round, and there's a lot of people in my closer circle who i've never even seen cry.

Simply lovely, very good details that he allows you to cry as long as you need to, comfort you in a very protective way (places you on his lap and wipe your tears while consoling verbally).

I got a bit lost when you say this is the first ocassion you see someone close cry in front of you, do you mean you saw him cry before the first time you cried in front of him, or that nobody else in your close circle has cried in front of you?

 

January 24, 2020 9:10 am  #5


Re: Self obs from 2 nights ago

Amans lacrimae wrote:

andjyx wrote:

We grew really, really close in such a short time; i've known him not more than a month and a half when he first cried in front of me and it was about a serious matter. I think that night really made us grow closer, also funny thing is this is maybe the first occasion where i am the first person to witness someone close to me cry; its almost always the other way round, and there's a lot of people in my closer circle who i've never even seen cry.

Simply lovely, very good details that he allows you to cry as long as you need to, comfort you in a very protective way (places you on his lap and wipe your tears while consoling verbally).

I got a bit lost when you say this is the first ocassion you see someone close cry in front of you, do you mean you saw him cry before the first time you cried in front of him, or that nobody else in your close circle has cried in front of you?

Yes, yes indeed. Its like a dream comforter lol

I actually meant both. First, i wanted to say that from the moment that i meet someone who i happen to get close with, they’re usually the first person to see me cry, not vice versa. Second statement, not that i haven’t seen ANYONE of my closer friends cry, but its rare. Whether most of them rarely cry, or i just don’t simply happen to witness them do…it feels weird however, because there’s people that i have literally cried gallooons of tears in front of and i’ve seen them cry not more than once, if even that.

Hopefully i made myself clear now😂 Have a wonderful day.

     Thread Starter
 

January 24, 2020 1:44 pm  #6


Re: Self obs from 2 nights ago

andjyx wrote:

Yes, yes indeed. Its like a dream comforter lol

I actually meant both. First, i wanted to say that from the moment that i meet someone who i happen to get close with, they’re usually the first person to see me cry, not vice versa. Second statement, not that i haven’t seen ANYONE of my closer friends cry, but its rare. Whether most of them rarely cry, or i just don’t simply happen to witness them do…it feels weird however, because there’s people that i have literally cried gallooons of tears in front of and i’ve seen them cry not more than once, if even that.

Hopefully i made myself clear now😂 Have a wonderful day.

Wow, I find it a bit surprising, as I think most guys (at least I think) won't cry in front of someone who hasn't cried in front of them first, I mean, the girl Is the one who takes that first step.

At least I stop myself from crying if I haven't seen the other person cry.

 

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