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March 30, 2020 5:06 pm  #1


Isolation Obs (m & f)

Not sure about all of you, but this whole quarantine/isolation stuff has really been a whirlwind. 

I've been working from home and my boyfriend got laid off so, as expected, I've had quite a few boyfriend obs, a long awaited self obs, and a few other friend obs to share!

Early on in this whole thing, we'd had some friends over and my boyfriend got pretty upset about it - a friend invited someone else who had been working in a pretty large public place, and it made him feel uncomfortable. Both of us felt insecure about telling that person to leave, so we ended up getting into a small fight about it. I went off to clean and then go to bed, and he sat in the living room not talking to me. Eventually he came to bed and cuddled up to me, and I could tell he was crying - I think he wanted me to know so I would comfort him. I turned around and he started to sob softly so I held him tightly. I could feel his tears soaking the pillow on my shoulder. We both apologized and made up, but he cried for a few more minutes with his head buried between my head and the pillow.

There were a few other smaller observations where he got teary-eyed (we watched the Lord of the Rings because I'd never seen it, and he got emotional at the end - so sweet!), but yesterday there was an issue with unemployment and he ended up crying a little. I can tell when he's about to cry now, because he'll close his eyes and start to rub his nose up and down with his two middle fingers and then he'll close his eyes and pinch the bridge of his nose to keep is tears from running down his cheeks (unsuccessfully), and push his glasses up a bit to keep them from fogging up. Sometimes he'll take his glasses off entirely when he knows he's going to cry. He started doing his telltale signs that he was going to cry, and I tried to just comfort him. I wipe his tears every time he cries now - I try not to make it a thing, but when the opportunity arises I do it. Eventually I was saying things like "it'll be okay,"  and telling him we'll get through it together. I then started telling him all of the things I love about him, and he started crying more. I held him and his tears fell onto my shoulder and soaked through my shirt a bit. He calmed down after a little while, but the whole day was a hard one in general.

When we were going to bed that night, I started thinking about how much I missed all of my friends and family and my life - I started crying a little - no sobbing or sounds or anything, not even a stuffy nose - just tears falling from the corner of my right eye and pooling a little in the inside corner of my left eye. He noticed a tear fall and said "Did you cry? Are you crying?" He wiped the tear away and we talked about it for a bit. It was the weirdest crying for me - I am usually an ugly crier if I cry, so this was so strange.  He kept wiping my tears away and telling me that we'd be alright, and while he was saying nice things it made me cry a little more - anyone else notice that when you're crying, it makes you cry more when someone is taking care of you/ is so kind and sweet? Anyway, we cuddled up and went to bed after that, but we talked about how much closer we felt and that was really nice.

Additionally, and not really an obs, but I've had a friend tell me he's been crying every day, and it's a good day when he doesn't cry. He recently mentioned sneaking into the bathroom to hide and cry openly while reading a book. 

 

March 30, 2020 9:15 pm  #2


Re: Isolation Obs (m & f)

Your first self-observation! Thank you for posting these, especially since the circumstances are so stressful. In your previous posts you were predicting that he’d be warm and comforting when you finally cried in front of him, and it’s awesome to see that you were right! These are all so sweet and cozy. I love how he just INDULGES himself in your comfort.
 
And I hear you, the isolation is driving me bananas. For as long as I can remember, my entire family and friend circle greeted each other with hugs and/or cheek kisses routinely. I’m just used to a lot more physical affection. Now nobody wants to touch anyone. The lack of hugs is painful. Plus we have a lot of family in Italy and that’s just a horrible situation.
 
I’m trying to take it day by day. Reading a lot, staying in shape, and staying as connected as possible through social media/phone/facetime. Sending positive vibes your way. We’ll get through this.  

 

March 30, 2020 9:47 pm  #3


Re: Isolation Obs (m & f)

Wow, a lot of first times here, you mentioned previously he never fully let it out in front of you, so even if softly, he sobbed.

Interesting how you can identify when he's going to cry, I guess everyone has a distinctive reaction when about to cry, I'll be more perceptive. Also, lovely you wipe his tears every time he cries, and he lets you!!

First of all, I am sorry you miss your loved ones because of the world situation, and also, I am quite surprised you finally Let It out, I remember you once said you did not even remember when was the last time you cried, I can guess (depending on your memory) it could have been months, if not years.

Now you say you are an "ugly" crier, in my opinion there is nothing sweeter thsn an expressive face when crying, anyways, this time you cried, and in front of your bf (well, laying down next to him), I love his reaction, first, surprised you were crying, then, as expected, I guess, he tenderly wiped your tears. You had never experienced this before, how did you feel when he wiped your tears? Did you get up at some point (I mean your face not in the pillow) when crying? Did you notice your bf reaction when he wiped your tears (did he like it, did he look like he has done this before)? I love when a female friend cries harder when I am taking care of her.

Hope everything turns out well for you, have the best week posible, God bless.

 

March 31, 2020 1:39 pm  #4


Re: Isolation Obs (m & f)

truffle wrote:

Your first self-observation! Thank you for posting these, especially since the circumstances are so stressful. In your previous posts you were predicting that he’d be warm and comforting when you finally cried in front of him, and it’s awesome to see that you were right! These are all so sweet and cozy. I love how he just INDULGES himself in your comfort.
 
And I hear you, the isolation is driving me bananas. For as long as I can remember, my entire family and friend circle greeted each other with hugs and/or cheek kisses routinely. I’m just used to a lot more physical affection. Now nobody wants to touch anyone. The lack of hugs is painful. Plus we have a lot of family in Italy and that’s just a horrible situation.
 
I’m trying to take it day by day. Reading a lot, staying in shape, and staying as connected as possible through social media/phone/facetime. Sending positive vibes your way. We’ll get through this.  

He really loves it! And will talk about it afterwards! Sometimes he'll cuddle right up to me instead of waiting for me to comfort him, and put his head on my lap. And then he is always so appreciative of me "being so nice" to him, and says often that he loves when I comfort him.

He was just as sweet to me as I'd imagined! He was a little surprised, and he made this really sweet/ sad noise that was almost a gasp and immediately started comforting me. It was so sweet, and now I know why he likes it so much when I comfort him!

I'm so sorry to hear that you're feeling similarly, and have family in Italy! Sending good thoughts to you and your family - you're right, we will get through this!

     Thread Starter
 

March 31, 2020 1:50 pm  #5


Re: Isolation Obs (m & f)

Amans lacrimae wrote:

Wow, a lot of first times here, you mentioned previously he never fully let it out in front of you, so even if softly, he sobbed.

Interesting how you can identify when he's going to cry, I guess everyone has a distinctive reaction when about to cry, I'll be more perceptive. Also, lovely you wipe his tears every time he cries, and he lets you!!

First of all, I am sorry you miss your loved ones because of the world situation, and also, I am quite surprised you finally Let It out, I remember you once said you did not even remember when was the last time you cried, I can guess (depending on your memory) it could have been months, if not years.

Now you say you are an "ugly" crier, in my opinion there is nothing sweeter thsn an expressive face when crying, anyways, this time you cried, and in front of your bf (well, laying down next to him), I love his reaction, first, surprised you were crying, then, as expected, I guess, he tenderly wiped your tears. You had never experienced this before, how did you feel when he wiped your tears? Did you get up at some point (I mean your face not in the pillow) when crying? Did you notice your bf reaction when he wiped your tears (did he like it, did he look like he has done this before)? I love when a female friend cries harder when I am taking care of her.

Hope everything turns out well for you, have the best week posible, God bless.

Oooh, by  the time this happened, he had actually sobbed in front of me before. It was an obs I forgot to post, and maybe will go into more detail at some point, but I have seen him cry pretty hard now - but only one other time!

I was surprised I cried, too - this isolation thing is really getting to my head! It was really nice to have him comfort me - I don't think I've ever had someone comfort me, or someone I was comfortable to indulge it with, at least. Him wiping my tears gave me the same warm, fluttery feeling I get when I get to comfort him, which was a new discovery! I don't like crying much, but I DO like him comforting me. It was hard to tell if he would normally wipe someone's tears away, or if he did it because it's something I do for him - I'm leaning towards the latter, because he was a little tentative at first - it was so, so sweet and intimate. We were in bed for the night, so we didn't get up an any point - we ended up turning off the light shortly afterwards and watching a show together before falling asleep, but he said that even though this whole thing sucks, that he feels like it's bringing us closer, which is nice!
 

     Thread Starter
 

March 31, 2020 5:03 pm  #6


Re: Isolation Obs (m & f)

Haha I am like that too, I don't like to cry but I love when my wife wipes my tears. By any chance, did you let him know you liked when he wiped your tears? And yes, I am sure allowing your partner to see you cry brings you way closer than before.

 

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