Wow, a Book that had you sobbing. Were you still sobbing when your mom walked in?

Were you sitting or laying when you were crying (you mention wiping your tears, yet missing a spot, that makes me think you had tears falling in several streaks)?

You said you were learning to allow the right people in, but that was quick, you went from turning your back to your mom to allowing her to wipe tears from your eyes😮. You found it sweet, the first time your tears are wiped, honestly I thought it would happen at home (I also wiped my daughters tears when they came to me crying, specially in their teens, you know, hormones), but I didn't expect your mom would be the first. I don't remember if you have a brother or not, but I thought the first to wipe your tears would be a brother or your boyfriend (I assume you are still dating the one you mentioned by the end of 2018).

Just noticed I didn't answer your question, no, I haven't ugly-cried while reading a book.

Last edited by Amans lacrimae (June 13, 2020 4:50 pm)

Amans lacrimae wrote:

Wow, a Book that had you sobbing. Were you still sobbing when your mom walked in?

Were you sitting or laying when you were crying (you mention wiping your tears, yet missing a spot, that makes me think you had tears falling in several streaks)?

You said you were learning to allow the right people in, but that was quick, you went from turning your back to your mom to allowing her to wipe tears from your eyes😮. You found it sweet, the first time your tears are wiped, honestly I thought it would happen at home (I also wiped my daughters tears when they came to me crying, specially in their teens, you know, hormones), but I didn't expect your mom would be the first. I don't remember if you have a brother or not, but I thought the first to wipe your tears would be a brother or your boyfriend (I assume you are still dating the one you mentioned by the end of 2018).

Just noticed I didn't answer your question, no, I haven't ugly-cried while reading a book.

I know! I was also surprised at how hard I was crying. By the time my mom walked in, I had calmed down enough that I wasn't sobbing anymore--I was definitely still crying steadily, though.

I was originally lying down while I was crying, but I sat up for a while because my pillow was getting pretty wet from my tears. Because I changed positions, the tears basically went everywhere. At first, they were falling across my face and nose into my pillow, but when I sat up, they started going down my cheeks. It was interesting, since I somehow managed to get the upper eyelid of my left eye wet--that's the spot that my mom wiped for me. I was sitting up when she came in.

I'd actually say that it's taken me a long time to get to this point, where I can let someone wipe my tears! The time that I spoke about when I turned my back to my mom happened back in 2017, so that was a while ago. Those were also different circumstances--I was crying because I was going through a very rough patch. Strangely enough, I'm mostly okay with letting people see me cry if I'm crying over a movie or book. If I'm crying because of something going on in my life, I typically try to hide it better. Still, I feel like I've made progress over the last few years.

I wasn't surprised that my mom was the first person to wipe my tears--she's one of the only people I ever cry in front of, aside from my dad and maybe my two brothers. I don't think my brothers would ever try wiping my tears. Wiping tears isn't really something my family does, aside from my mom.

Unfortunately, I'm no longer dating the boyfriend I mentioned near the end of 2018--my family ended up moving two states away. My ex and I decided that we didn't want to try a long-distance relationship, considering how young we were and how short of a time we'd been together. As of right now, I'm single as a pringle!

truffle wrote:

I haven't sobbed over a book in a long time. For some reason I've just stopped reading sad books. They give me a weird anxiety, like after I get a little sad I just want to stop reading.

In elementary school I sobbed while reading Holes. 

In middle school I sobbed alarmingly hard multiple times while reading Flowers for Algernon. It's a really short story, but there was a section where I would read like 4 pages, and have to put the thing down and just sob for a minute, then return to the story, then pause again to sob, it was an absolute mess.

I like crying during movies/shows though.

I definitely understand where you're coming from, truffle! It took me two days to read the book that made me ugly-cry--the first day, I stopped reading right before things started getting sad, just because I didn't feel like getting into the sad parts yet.

I'm pretty sure I've read Holes, although I don't remember much about it. I do remember reading Flowers for Algernon back in middle school--that was an incredibly sad story! I don't remember crying over that one (then again, I was in the middle of class when we read it), but the ending was absolutely heartbreaking. I recently watched the movie, which was also sad.

azutid wrote:

Amans lacrimae wrote:

azutid wrote:

What gestures have your brothers had when you cry in front of them?

It was a couple years ago, but I think they just sat there, a little bit shocked. My dad was also there, so he gave me a hug and talked to me privately to figure out why I was so upset. I think my brothers did nothing because I'm usually pretty even-keeled--it must have surprised them to see me cry. I usually hide my crying pretty well.

I do remember one time, a few years ago, when one of my brothers started crying because I was crying. That time, he gave me a hug and told me that he loved me.

A lot of thinking with this response of yours, first you had me look for the meaning of even-keeled, I didn't know what it meant, fortunately I found the meaning online. Second, I thought the most intimate act one could have towards another was to kiss or at least wipe their tears away, but your brother's reaction had me thinking for a good while, I think (may be wrong) that crying with you just because you are crying kind of puts the "comforter" in the same "level" as the original crying person, I see the person becoming "vulnerable on purpose" to be at the same level, even if he is the one comforting. What do you think?

azutid wrote:

I sometimes use big words without thinking about whether or not others will understand, so I'm glad you were able to find the definition online!

Personally, I don't really rank the intimacy of certain actions--I think it depends entirely on the moment. For example, the moment with my brother (when he was crying with me) was fairly intimate, but it would've been more intimate if we had been alone together. As it was, my parents were also there. The way I think of it, the more people you add into the moment, the less intimate it becomes. (I don't know if I'm making any sense; hopefully, I am.)

Here's another example: if you share something private about yourself with a room full of people, it isn't as intimate as it would be if you share that same thing with one person. In fact, if you share something a little too private with a room full of people, it may even be considered "cringe-worthy" or "awkward." But if you're sharing with one person, then they have the chance to respond, and it can become something that strengthens the bond of your friendship/relationship.

Anyway, I'll stop talking about intimacy now--I get the feeling I can write about it for a long time, lol.

It's interesting how you said that you see the comforter becoming "vulnerable on purpose" if they start crying as well. I think, given the circumstances, my brother couldn't help but cry. He wasn't trying to be vulnerable on purpose. From what I understand, he was sad that I was crying, but he was also sad because of the reason why I was crying. The whole moment and everything that led up to it was, for lack of a better word, sad.

Also, I was reminded of the phrase "mourn with those who mourn". It's a fairly common phrase in my religion, especially while talking about becoming more Christlike. Basically, if you become sad or start crying when someone else is crying, then it's as if you're mourning with them. 

It's definitely food for thought.

It's not bad, thank you for making my english richer in vocabulary, I agree, the moment definitely is the more intimate the less people around.
Interesting phrase, you definitely are right "mourn with those who mourn", I usually mourn being empathetic, I have never cried with another person (I mean as mourning, maybe because I have asperger?), but you definitely are right, you brought to my mind the episode when Jesus went to Lazarus and cried at the tomb before bringing him back to life (why cry if he was bringing him back to life, right?).

Definitely, food for thought. Thanks.