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July 3, 2020 5:17 am  #1


Self Obs: Breakup

So, a while back I mentioned that I had recently started dating someone who cries as much as I do, and cries beautifully when she does. Well, she just broke up with me this morning, after a month of not being able to decide if she was truly in love with me or not. Naturally, I've done my fair share of crying over her already, and while I'm feeling numb as I write this post, I know I haven't truly stopped crying yet.

She came over a few weeks ago to talk, and she was noticeably uncomfortable after a while. I picked up on that, and as we talked, my emotions all came out and I just broke down sobbing on my bed. I kept trying to continue talking, but my voice kept breaking and the loud sobs kept going. I tend to cry curled in on myself, and this was no exception. My tears (and probably other fluids as well) streamed down my face in as inelegant a manner as possible. I probably sounded so clingy and desperate because I didn't want to lose her. Anyway, she held me for much of the time I was crying and tried to reassure me as best she could, even though she was the cause of my tears in the first place. At some point, the guilt got to her and she started crying too, just red-faced and sobbing and shaking. I held her as she cried, still crying myself, and feeling her shaking with sobs felt really nice.

I've been on and off crying ever since for weeks. I know we weren't together long, but I'm really in love with her, and wanted to be with her forever. Having my heart broken like this again just hurts so much. I'll probably keep crying for a good while longer. I'm really going to miss her.

 

July 3, 2020 2:32 pm  #2


Re: Self Obs: Breakup

I'm really sorry for your breakup, I hope you recover from this soon, my best wishes for you. Now getting to the obs, you mention she cries as much as you do, yet, we never got an obs, how does she usually cry?
Is this the first time you hold her as she cries? When you held her sobbing body, usually tears flow unchecked, did you gather the courage to wipe her tears, knowing this might be the last chance you'll have to?

 

July 3, 2020 10:17 pm  #3


Re: Self Obs: Breakup

Amans lacrimae wrote:

I'm really sorry for your breakup, I hope you recover from this soon, my best wishes for you. Now getting to the obs, you mention she cries as much as you do, yet, we never got an obs, how does she usually cry?
Is this the first time you hold her as she cries? When you held her sobbing body, usually tears flow unchecked, did you gather the courage to wipe her tears, knowing this might be the last chance you'll have to?

I thought about making an obs from one particularly emotional evening we had when we were first dating back in March, but I was dealing with some issues on my end that made it hard for me to think about posting. As far as her crying goes, first her eyes well up and then overflow with tears. They'll often make it about halfway down her face before she wipes them with her hand or with her sleeves. Her face and especially her eyes turn red almost immediately, and that's usually what I think of when I think of her "signature" when crying. Her eyes are this beautiful shade of hazel, and I once commented on how the red really brings out the green in her eyes. She thought that was sweet, if amusing. She knew about my dacryphilia, and took it in stride. She never made it sound like I was making her feel bad for crying, especially considering her own life situation.

I've definitely held her multiple times as she's cried. Nearly every time I've seen her cry, I've made it a point to touch her in some way, whether it's wrapping an arm around her shoulders, holding her tightly, or even just laying a gentle hand on her thigh. I've wiped her tears a couple of times, but it doesn't give me the same satisfaction it does you. I'd rather just hold her in my arms and feel her body shake with sobs. She said she wants to stay friends, and she does care about me very much, just not in the way I love her. I'm not always good at staying friends with my exes, especially if I feel this strongly for them, but we'll see what comes of this. I know I'll always love her, though, and right now, I really miss her own reassuring hugs.

     Thread Starter
 

July 4, 2020 12:42 am  #4


Re: Self Obs: Breakup

Dacrypticphile wrote:

I thought about making an obs from one particularly emotional evening we had when we were first dating back in March, but I was dealing with some issues on my end that made it hard for me to think about posting. As far as her crying goes, first her eyes well up and then overflow with tears. They'll often make it about halfway down her face before she wipes them with her hand or with her sleeves. Her face and especially her eyes turn red almost immediately, and that's usually what I think of when I think of her "signature" when crying. Her eyes are this beautiful shade of hazel, and I once commented on how the red really brings out the green in her eyes. She thought that was sweet, if amusing. She knew about my dacryphilia, and took it in stride. She never made it sound like I was making her feel bad for crying, especially considering her own life situation.

I've definitely held her multiple times as she's cried. Nearly every time I've seen her cry, I've made it a point to touch her in some way, whether it's wrapping an arm around her shoulders, holding her tightly, or even just laying a gentle hand on her thigh. I've wiped her tears a couple of times, but it doesn't give me the same satisfaction it does you. I'd rather just hold her in my arms and feel her body shake with sobs. She said she wants to stay friends, and she does care about me very much, just not in the way I love her. I'm not always good at staying friends with my exes, especially if I feel this strongly for them, but we'll see what comes of this. I know I'll always love her, though, and right now, I really miss her own reassuring hugs.

Thank you for answering, I know everybody's dac is different, I also love holding a female sobbing body in my arms, but like you mention, for me, the highest rush come from kissing or wiping tears.

I would definitely love to read an obs.

P.S.
She wasn't a dac, was she?

 

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