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March 22, 2021 1:31 am  #1


Do you let your children see you cry?

I had this argument recently with some family members. I have a relative who absolutely will not let you cry in front of his children, even in situations when it would be perfectly natural and normal. On the other hand, we cried in front of our son early on and taught him that everyone has emotions and should feel free to express them. On the other OTHER hand, my daughter (who is younger) recently accidentally saw us sobbing, and she did not take that well at all. So I clearly don't have all the answers on this.

Do y'all have any opinions on this? Do you and your spouses cry differently, or cry at all, in front of your children?

 

March 22, 2021 3:36 am  #2


Re: Do you let your children see you cry?

I'm glad you are active again, I didn't know you had two children, I remember one, anyways.
I'll answer this in several segments, first, "I have a relative who absolutely will not let you cry in front of his children, even in situations when it would be perfectly natural and normal.

I don't have a problem with anyone crying in front of my children (well, teenagers now), especially if expected. They see crying as a normal reaction and don't have an issue with us (parents) seeing them cry, my firstborn is reserved about crying in front of others, she has even mentioned she wouldn't cry in public. My youngest has not been in the situation (that I remember) where she needed or was expected to cry in public, I have obviously seen her cry and she is not ashamed of her tears.

we cried in front of our son early on and taught him that everyone has emotions and should feel free to express them.
I am an extremely reserved person and the only person who has seen me cry is my wife (I honestly suspect my eldest has heard or has hinted that I have cried at least once but I dare not figure that out, she has not brought it up), on the other hand, my wife has no issues crying in front of them, and I have wiped her tears in front of them and also, I have wiped my daughters' tears with no shame on their end.

my daughter (who is younger) recently accidentally saw us sobbing, and she did not take that well at all.
My daughters have seen my wife cry and depending on the situation, either they take it as a natural process, or in a difficult situation (crying because of pain or extreme sadness) they sometimes get distressed but they accept it and even empathize with her.

I guess I already answered your last question during the post
I forgot, my opinion, I guess it should be normal to cry in front of your children (I know I am not the one to say it because I don't), but, if you feel comfortable, go ahead, I believe one should also encourage them to cry in front of you, crying is a natural cathartic body reaction, I usually wipe tears from my daughters cheeks.

 

March 22, 2021 6:03 pm  #3


Re: Do you let your children see you cry?

My daughter has seen me cry multiple times. I'm not ashamed as it is a natural reaction to certain situations/circumstances. I prefer not to cry publicly or in front of many people. My husband only sees my tears sometimes, but my daughter sees my tears an time.

 

March 22, 2021 6:08 pm  #4


Re: Do you let your children see you cry?

Princess_Lucky1731 wrote:

My daughter has seen me cry multiple times. I'm not ashamed as it is a natural reaction to certain situations/circumstances. I prefer not to cry publicly or in front of many people. My husband only sees my tears sometimes, but my daughter sees my tears an time.

Wow, I had never heard someone trusted more their tears in children than in spouse.

 

March 22, 2021 6:24 pm  #5


Re: Do you let your children see you cry?

Amans lacrimae wrote:

Princess_Lucky1731 wrote:

My daughter has seen me cry multiple times. I'm not ashamed as it is a natural reaction to certain situations/circumstances. I prefer not to cry publicly or in front of many people. My husband only sees my tears sometimes, but my daughter sees my tears an time.

Wow, I had never heard someone trusted more their tears in children than in spouse.

 
I feel she'd judge me less (she's 4).

 

April 26, 2021 11:59 pm  #6


Re: Do you let your children see you cry?

I'm actually pregnant with my first right now, but I think it's healthy for your children to see you cry. I hope to teach our son that tears are a natural reaction to a variety of emotions, and that there's no shame and no reason to hide them. This is true in any situation, but especially after a very upsetting event - I think that while (young) kids shouldn't be responsible for comforting/caring for their parents, NOT seeing your parent cry after a death, for example, can lead them to think they should repress their emotions and not let them out, even around family. My dad's father died when my dad was just a kid, and he never saw his mother cry, not once. He grew up pretty uncomfortable with emotional expression (his own and others'). He's gotten a little more comfortable as he's aged, interestingly.

Anyway, I always felt slightly uncomfortable seeing my mother cry (or my dad, the couple of times I did), but I think this was partly because of my fetish.

 

April 27, 2021 3:26 am  #7


Re: Do you let your children see you cry?

carrotcake wrote:

I'm actually pregnant with my first right now, but I think it's healthy for your children to see you cry. I hope to teach our son that tears are a natural reaction to a variety of emotions, and that there's no shame and no reason to hide them. This is true in any situation, but especially after a very upsetting event - I think that while (young) kids shouldn't be responsible for comforting/caring for their parents, NOT seeing your parent cry after a death, for example, can lead them to think they should repress their emotions and not let them out, even around family. My dad's father died when my dad was just a kid, and he never saw his mother cry, not once. He grew up pretty uncomfortable with emotional expression (his own and others'). He's gotten a little more comfortable as he's aged, interestingly.

Anyway, I always felt slightly uncomfortable seeing my mother cry (or my dad, the couple of times I did), but I think this was partly because of my fetish.

Congratulations Carrotcake, I'm really happy for you. To be honest I really missed you on the forum, I hope you have time to come every now and then and continue sharing your beautiful obs. Hugs, have a wonderful week.

 

April 28, 2021 12:28 am  #8


Re: Do you let your children see you cry?

carrotcake wrote:

I'm actually pregnant with my first right now, but I think it's healthy for your children to see you cry. I hope to teach our son that tears are a natural reaction to a variety of emotions, and that there's no shame and no reason to hide them. This is true in any situation, but especially after a very upsetting event - I think that while (young) kids shouldn't be responsible for comforting/caring for their parents, NOT seeing your parent cry after a death, for example, can lead them to think they should repress their emotions and not let them out, even around family. My dad's father died when my dad was just a kid, and he never saw his mother cry, not once. He grew up pretty uncomfortable with emotional expression (his own and others'). He's gotten a little more comfortable as he's aged, interestingly.

Anyway, I always felt slightly uncomfortable seeing my mother cry (or my dad, the couple of times I did), but I think this was partly because of my fetish.

Let me say congratulations to you, and I'm glad you'll be raising your son in such a way. I wish more people were understanding about men's emotional vulnerabilities.

Of course, I must ask, has your pregnancy had any effect on your crying/crying proclivities? If so, I'd love to hear.


"Bless me now with your fierce tears..."
 

April 28, 2021 6:05 am  #9


Re: Do you let your children see you cry?

carrotcake wrote:

I'm actually pregnant with my first right now, but I think it's healthy for your children to see you cry. I hope to teach our son that tears are a natural reaction to a variety of emotions, and that there's no shame and no reason to hide them. This is true in any situation, but especially after a very upsetting event - I think that while (young) kids shouldn't be responsible for comforting/caring for their parents, NOT seeing your parent cry after a death, for example, can lead them to think they should repress their emotions and not let them out, even around family. My dad's father died when my dad was just a kid, and he never saw his mother cry, not once. He grew up pretty uncomfortable with emotional expression (his own and others'). He's gotten a little more comfortable as he's aged, interestingly.

Anyway, I always felt slightly uncomfortable seeing my mother cry (or my dad, the couple of times I did), but I think this was partly because of my fetish.

Congratulations!

I also feel uncomfortable seeing close relatives cry due to my fetish, especially my parents.


Ugly crying is pretty crying
 

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