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September 13, 2021 1:46 am  #1

Self obs on a bus (F)

So long story short, the team that I’ve been working with for 5 years suddenly got split up overnight and reassigned to different units and buildings. I worked through the pandemic with these people, and with no prior warning I wake up to an email saying that we’re all reassigned, and two people were laid off. Through my shock and befuddlement, and lack of sleep, I guess I thought it would be a good idea to get some donuts for everyone. There is a bus that takes us from our parking area to our workplace, and as I got onto the bus I saw four members of my former team sitting in the back, two women and two men. One of the women had wet eyes. And that’s when the emotion hit me. If I had just had a bit more warning, I could have arranged a little party or happy hour, with some cards and gifts for everyone, and maybe we could have dressed up a bit and taken a few dignified photos together. Instead I’m standing there in my wrinkled scrubs, masked, working off 3 hours of sleep, with a box of shitty donuts in my hands. Within 5 seconds I was crying, and by the time I walked over to them, four tears had dropped over my mask and onto the donut box. When I sat down next to them, the other woman also started crying, and her tears rolled behind her mask, but I could see two streaks coming from each eye. One of the guys sat next to me and gently rubbed my back, which was nice. My mask had shifted, so now my tears were rolling smoothly down my cheeks behind the mask. My voice was choked as I asked them questions and tried to piece together what had happened. Once I gasped sharply and sniffled, which caused the guy to squeeze my shoulder tightly for a moment.
After we got off the shuttle, we stood outside the building for a moment and lowered our masks. The woman who was crying before I got on the bus had dry cheeks, but her eyelashes were stuck together and wet. The one who had started crying after I got on, had two damp streaks on each cheek, which she wiped with her hands. I hugged the two women, then the guys, then I turned away and pulled out the box of donuts and asked if they wanted any, and the absurdity of this gesture hit me in the feels again and another wave of tears jumped to my eyes. I felt four tears run down each cheek as they each took a donut. I took a bite and felt a tear roll down my right cheek, over my lip and onto the donut. I lost my taste for it and threw the donut away, and we all hugged each other again and reluctantly parted to go to work. I wiped my tears on my way to the restroom to clean up. I was kind of shocked to find that my makeup had held reasonably well.
Thank you for listening to my First World problems. Have a good week.

I'm a woman and I think women are beautiful when they cry.

September 14, 2021 2:34 pm  #2

Re: Self obs on a bus (F)

I'm really sorry for the unfortunate news of having your team split, I think for the first time I'll make an absurd comment (please don't get offended), I wish I was that donut box, seems it was the only lucky to get your tears. 

Would you find it inappropriate if the guy who was rubbing your back and squeezed your shoulder, wiped your tears? I mean, you hugged after all, so Covid would not be a barrier, right?


September 16, 2021 12:18 am  #3

Re: Self obs on a bus (F)

I wouldn't have minded, but I'm weird. I don't think he ever would have wiped my tears in that scenario. Normal people would probably think that's inappropriate. 

I'm a woman and I think women are beautiful when they cry.
     Thread Starter

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