Sex: Assigned Female at Birth, Bigender (maybe - I am still exploring my gender, but I just know that I have a strong masculine side as well as a strong feminine side, and not much in between. She/her or he/him are both fine.)
Orientation: On the asexual spectrum, polyamorous, omniromantic (with a preference for masculinity)
Age: 23
Location: United States

I am deeply drawn to emotional vulnerability and emotional need, especially among masculine people. The overpowering urge to comfort is my most intimate expression of love. It feels like something tugging directly on my heart. It makes me feel awake and more connected to others through romance. In my day-to-day life, I hold most people to strict standards and see failure as burdensome to others. It seems to me that after I became an adult, I stopped seeing weakness as acceptable. But when I see someone break down, I remember that I don't love some abstract concept of "success" or "independence". I love people. I love making people happy. I love sharing a struggle together. A person who is sad is not a burden. They offer an opportunity for me to be useful, for me to care about something and feel urgency overtake me.

I want to rescue people. Crying is not interesting to me unless it comes from strong emotions (real or at least acted), and I can imagine a way that I could hold that person and help them through it. If I could save their life just by holding them, that would fill me with unbridled joy. I feel the same way about other forms of "breaking" - panic attacks, lashing out in rage, collapsing from exhaustion.

I cry very often and very violently. I have had severe depression and panic attacks for many, many years, and probably will until I die. You have my permission to fantasize about this as much as you wish - I would like at least some small good to come from it. But I find my own tears disgusting...unless there is someone who I trust holding me and comforting me. That person has to be very special to me, or I would not let them see me that way.

If you want to talk about anything cathartic with me, feel free to send me a message. I will be there for you, and I will only respect you more for your vulnerability.