1 of 1- Oriass
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I feel the need to cry in front of my crush
As I already said here, I've seen my crush cry several times in my presence. Sometimes he would tell me the reasons, and other times he wouldn't. But the last times I saw him (before traveling), I thought I was going to cry in front of him, but that didn't happen. What happened was that one of the times it was HE who cried and the other time I had an anxiety attack and almost vomited. The next time I'll see him will be at the end of January/beginning of February. And since then I feel like I should cry in front of him and I keep imagining different scenarios where that happens. I keep imagining him meeting me on the street at a time when I'm crying and he comes and hugs me, I imagine the two of us walking down the street while I cry explaining the reason, while he comforts me, or I imagine him in my house comforting me for some reason. I think I owe it to him, since I saw him cry seven times, while at most he kept my reports of when I cried. I've been sad in front of him, but no reason was enough to make me cry, and even in the greatest opportunity I had to cry in front of him, I just held it in and didn't cry. I think this might be because I probably like being comforted by someone who understands me right, and who will always be there for me. Another reason might be that if I cry in front of him, this might make him understand that I am trustworthy and that he can cry in front of me and I will be there to comfort him. I hope I can cry in front of him at some point, I think he would be relatively surprised since he has never seen me cry. But he will hide this feeling of surprise to comfort me, since I know he would do that, since he likes me a lot. It would be amazing to be next to him explaining what makes me cry while drying my face with tissues and getting a hug from him. I hope that happens one day. If it happens, maybe I'll come here and tell you. Do you think my logic makes sense or am I just crazy?
- truffle
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Re: I feel the need to cry in front of my crush
I wholeheartedly agree.
If I’m considering a relationship with someone, I need to know how they’ll react to my crying, and I need them to know that I cry quite regularly so they can get used to it. It’s a vibe check. If they react negatively to my crying (especially more than once) then I can be sure the relationship is not happening.
- Amans lacrimae
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Re: I feel the need to cry in front of my crush
I second what my friend Truffle says, if you are considering a relationship, there must be compatibility in an emotional way.
- tearhunter
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Re: I feel the need to cry in front of my crush
Absolutely - having close friends you can share your deepest emotions with is so important in my view. I've always been wary crying in front of someone new - especially because I'm male and although it's getting better there is a part of society that believes men don't cry. But the first time I cried in front of my Wife it felt so natural - tears were running down my cheeks and I felt no shame or embarrassment. It's such a close thing to be able to cry with someone like that.
I also have friends - a married couple - male and female - who I can cry in front of - the four of us (including my Wife) have all seen each other cry many times. Again we all feel we can be our true selves and if something moves us we don't hold the tears back and just cry openly. We have all seen tears rolling down each others cheeks and it's completely fine.
So, yes - allow yourself to cry and allow your tears to flow freely down your cheeks - have you seen your friends tears on his cheeks?
- Oriass
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Re: I feel the need to cry in front of my crush
tearhunter wrote:
Absolutely - having close friends you can share your deepest emotions with is so important in my view. I've always been wary crying in front of someone new - especially because I'm male and although it's getting better there is a part of society that believes men don't cry. But the first time I cried in front of my Wife it felt so natural - tears were running down my cheeks and I felt no shame or embarrassment. It's such a close thing to be able to cry with someone like that.
I also have friends - a married couple - male and female - who I can cry in front of - the four of us (including my Wife) have all seen each other cry many times. Again we all feel we can be our true selves and if something moves us we don't hold the tears back and just cry openly. We have all seen tears rolling down each others cheeks and it's completely fine.
So, yes - allow yourself to cry and allow your tears to flow freely down your cheeks - have you seen your friends tears on his cheeks?
THANK YOU FOR ASKING THIS QUESTION AT THE END OF YOUR COMMENT. About my friends, I never had many, but when I was in primary school, it was common for people in my class to cry, and there was one girl who I really wanted to see crying. And there was a party in our room where my friend at the time accidentally made it fall.I arrived and pulled him away saying "Go apologize", just to get closer. This girl always wiped her tears, but this time was different. Because a woman who was there picked her up and as I approached, I could see a tear on her face, and that made me happy for the rest of the day.
Now I'm going to talk about the love of my life, the person I'm in love with and who I mentioned in my topic.
The answer is: No. So far I THINK (not sure) that once, after he hugged a girl, a tear was on his face, but he wiped it away immediately. And there was another time when he was crying as we were leaving college, and he was talking to me and another girl, and I could see that he ran his hand across his cheek twice, probably to dry his tears, and unfortunately I couldn't see any tears, even though I was next to him. I'll keep trying to see his tears every time he cries, and I hope that happens soon! Has his current boyfriend seen his tears? I envy this guy...
And because of that, I feel a little uncomfortable about crying in front of him and let my tears flow freely. And that's why every now and then I practice ways to dry my tears in a seductive way... I think.
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Thread Starter- tearhunter
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Re: I feel the need to cry in front of my crush
I guess it depends on how you cry - others on this forum might disagree with me here but big wet eyes with a few well placed tears rolling down your cheek will look amazing. If you feel the need to wipe away tears gentle brush the tear away - don't rub your entire cheek in one go or rub your eyes directly - you will only make your eyes red eventually.
Don't be shy or embarrassed to let your tears be seen - he will know you are crying anyway so what does it matter if he see your tears. Also, perhaps seeing you openly cry will make him feel ok about allowing his tears to flow in front of you. Although I will say you need to be alone with him - tears are general not a multi person participation event.