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December 9, 2023 2:58 am  #1


New obs about my crush

I'm traveling tomorrow and I'm going to be away (almost) two months. And I wanted to say goodbye to my crush, so I sent a message yesterday to agree to do something in the afternoon. He accepted and said he would show up at my house at 3pm. At exactly 3:00 pm he was here (that bitch is punctual, huh), and my mother went to talk to his mother who was there at the door. And he entered my living room and I was in the bedroom finishing getting ready, and about two minutes after he entered the living room, I took a deep breath and entered the living room! I expected to find him smiling, but I walked into the room and he was crying A LOT. I said hi! Honey...um...do you...want...a...hug? I thought I was going to get dumped with a simple "No, get lost", but in fact he nodded (saying yes) and I went to hug the dear. But it was a very strange hug, because he was sitting and I was standing (why didn't I sit down too? I'm very stupid). Soon after I went to sit down, but... MY MOTHER DECIDED TO SHOW UP! It was an uncomfortable situation for both of us, since he wanted to be alone with me and as a good dacryphiliac I was a little embarrassed and uncomfortable. And she stopped to think about what was going on there and said: Son, go get water for your loved one. And I went RUNNING and came back RUNNING. And when I came back, my mother went away and left us alone, and then I asked "Do you want to explain?" and he told me everything right then and there (wow, what a miracle), and I tried to advise him as best I could, but then there was a very uncomfortable silence, interrupted by his sobs for about 15 minutes. My mother called me a couple of times in the meantime, she even asked if I wanted to give him a gift to make him happier. I thought it was a bit random and chose not to give it to him at that moment, and returned to the silent and awkward room.
After a long moment of silence, he asked in a crying voice "where are we going?" I told him where I wanted to go, he went to the bathroom, and then we left, where he recovered.
Now, I want to explain that it was something interesting, because I was there to console him, but unfortunately I couldn't see any tears on his face, since I brought tissues at that time and as a good polite person, I offered them. I could hear him sobbing at most but I didn't pay attention. And like I said, we left, went to a square and talked there until the moment he had to go to class and I left.
But it's not over yet, since tomorrow I'm going to travel, as I said at the beginning, and he suggested seeing me tomorrow to say goodbye... again. And it's VERY possible that I'm the one who cries this time, since I'm combined with nervousness with the fear and sadness of having to leave my home for two months, so maybe he'll have to console me tomorrow... If that happens, maybe I come back here to tell us...

 

January 3, 2024 10:39 am  #2


Re: New obs about my crush

Was he wiping his tears away with his hand before you gave him the tissues? Were you able to see tears filling his eyes? 

 

January 3, 2024 6:36 pm  #3


Re: New obs about my crush

tearhunter wrote:

Was he wiping his tears away with his hand before you gave him the tissues? Were you able to see tears filling his eyes? 

I think because I went to get him water and arrived a little late, I couldn't do it. And yes, he was drying his face with his hands, but he had his hands close to his eyes, so he was drying his tears before they even came out. I won't give up until I see tears falling from your face.

     Thread Starter
 

January 4, 2024 10:17 am  #4


Re: New obs about my crush

For some men (and I guess some women but I think its mainly a male trait) the physical shedding of tears is what they find the most embarrassing. Your crush was clearly crying - there is no doubt about that - the fact he used his hand to wipe his eyes clearly shows he felt tears forming and if he didn't do something about it there was a risk his tears would be visible. For some men as long as no tears are visible they are not crying.

How old is your crush? I suspect he is quite young - I have read / observed some young males are very sub-conscious about crying. They have not long become what they class as men and feel men should be strong and not cry. As men get older this macho approach tends to diminish and men become more open about their emotions and tears.

One thing is for sure - he will need to feel completely safe opening up fully and allowing you to see him with tears flowing - he will feel very vulnerable. Don't be surprised if the first time he allows a tear to leave his eyes it will be wiped from his cheek almost immediately. It will be a big step for him to allow a tear to be visible but it will take time and a lot of trust before he lets a tear roll down his cheek unchecked.

One positive for you - he gets emotional - there is a trigger which make him cry - a lot of men don't even show this much and I believe this is the most difficult step for a man to take if he's embarrassed about his crying.  

 

January 4, 2024 7:30 pm  #5


Re: New obs about my crush

We are the same age (and for me to be using the word "crush" you already realize that we are not over 25 years old), and I found that very interesting, but the problem is that most of the times I saw him cry were in public. In this note he was at my house with just ME. And I want this to happen again, because if the two of us are alone while he's crying, he might feel safer. I wonder if his boyfriend has ever seen his tears, I would REALLY love to be that guy... for a few reasons.

     Thread Starter
 

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