Gender: Transfeminine, non-binary

Orientation: Bisexual

Age: 27

Location: Ireland (Caoineadh is the Irish word for crying/"keening")

Interested in: Compassion. Sobbing, catharsis, *total surrender to sorrow* (i.e not anger, or trying to justify the tears). Being/having a safe person to cry to, the emotional intimacy.

Interest in the forum: Reading and sharing obs to figure out the specifics of my own interests, connecting with others. Developing a more healthy and complete understanding of myself without judgement

Your own crying:
Sometimes just a little bit of voice breaking and a stream of tears, able to smile through and communicate my deeper emotions.
More major bouts of crying involve waves of sobs, lots of emotion, significant frowning (à la Obsession if anybody has seen it). If I'm sick or grieving I will moan/groan (I will always sob when I vomit, but it's very unpleasant). Very pathetic sounds generally.

Other fetishes: Figuring these out, definitely physical pain.

Yourself in general: I enjoy playing the piano and music generally, have composed a couple songs. Competitive in board games and pretty good at puzzles/video games. I am interested in mythology/pagan religions and watch a lot of films of all genres.

Other: I noticed my fetish for crying years ago with my primary partner but didn't have the word for it at the time. I have realised that emotional closeness very tied to my sexuality (if someone is not comfortable crying with me and supporting me when I cry, how could I be fully comfortable being intimate with them?).

I have dealt with a lot of derealisation/depersonalisation from my body and emotions. When I cry it's a respite from that, because it's so grounding. I always feel better once I'm all cried out- especially when I'm supported through it by someone (I think there's both vulnerability and control involved in extending oneself into another's suffering).