My husband cried two nights ago in my arms but being the guy he is he wouldn't let me see his face. Our financial situation is pretty lousy right now. He was asking me to pay the rent this month from money I had set aside for something else and I guess he was just so humiliated.he looked kind of down so I have him a hug and the next thing I realized my shoulder was wet. He was forcing himself to control his breathing so there would be no sobs or quivering.but the tears kept coming and he kept his face buried in my chest along time.he did his usual thing of beating himself up for crying and trying to force himself to stop.
I've been trying to get him to stop putting time limits on his feelings.when he cries, he feels that the fact that he was brought to tears should be sufficient and tells himself"ok.that was enough.suck it up." I keep telling him there is no time frame.when he is done it will stop on its own..
He used to not cry at all.when his sister died six months ago I never saw a year ago he is getting better about feeling safe letting it out but he still seems to feel like being unable to choose what makes him cry and for how long is a failure on his part.he wants to be in control of his crying but I think he's learning it doesn't work that way.

Last edited by inmyarms (June 25, 2013 11:17 pm)