- meantangerine
- Great One
Offline 
- From: New York
- Registered: July 29, 2011
- Posts: 418
Re: I've wanted to cry for a few days
I hope your birthday was as happy as possible 
It is such a secret place, the land of tears.
-- Antoine de Saint Exupery, "The Little Prince"
- carrotcake
- Godlike
Offline
- Registered: July 29, 2011
- Posts: 538
Re: I've wanted to cry for a few days
Thanks, Meantangerine. My boyfriend and father made it a good day, and I got a call from my best friend, which was lovely, since I hadn't talked to him in several weeks. I did tear up once, thinking about all of my birthdays with my mom, but I did actually manage to make them happy tears, and I didn't allow them to continue past a lump in my throat and a single tear falling. I really didn't want to cry on my birthday, especially because we went out and I had makeup on, etc.
Last edited by carrotcake (April 5, 2013 4:57 pm)
- •
Thread Starter- inmyarms
- Godlike
Offline
- From: Brooklyn, NYC
- Registered: May 23, 2013
- Posts: 628
Re: I've wanted to cry for a few days
Dunno if you managed to have an emotional release yet.but if not what I sometimes do is frankly I cheat. I bought a year stick from a makeup supply company. Put some under my eyes and artificially get the tears going. Keep it going long enough and it can feel surprisingly real.it may never be the kind of cleaning ugly cry, but it helps.
Tears are the last gift of true love.
- carrotcake
- Godlike
Offline
- Registered: July 29, 2011
- Posts: 538
Re: I've wanted to cry for a few days
So, I have cried a few times for a couple of minutes, and I think I've managed to find that emotional release, slowly but surely, through both tears and talking to my boyfriend. I still tear up now and then, but I'm definitely feeling better and not dwelling on my mother's death so much. I went through a bunch of old pictures yesterday, and while I teared up at a few, I felt happy and grateful for my mother for the rest of the day. So I think that's a step in the right direction.
- •
Thread Starter- woundedpuppy
- Godlike
Offline
- Registered: July 27, 2011
- Posts: 554
Re: I've wanted to cry for a few days
Glad to hear things are improving.
- tearhunter
- Godlike
Offline
- Registered: July 28, 2011
- Posts: 503
Re: I've wanted to cry for a few days
I'm glad you are getting the release you were looking for carrotcake. You will still tear up and cry from time to time and at times when you least expect it. But if you can do this and have positive thoughts about your mother they will be tears that will help you a lot.
- carrotcake
- Godlike
Offline
- Registered: July 29, 2011
- Posts: 538
Re: I've wanted to cry for a few days
Thanks, Woundedpuppy and Tearhunter. I definitely still tear up occasionally, but the edge of grief has worn off and I find myself feeling happy again once in a while. It's a welcome development.
Actually, the only time I've cried in the last two weeks was when I was finishing up a photo album, and I came across a particularly pretty picture of her holding me when I was about two years old. I remembered something really sweet that she used to say to me, and I got a bit choked up. My boyfriend was asking me what I was thinking about, but I knew I couldn't say it without crying. I finally just said it, and (as expected!) I started to cry a little. It was only a few sobs and some tears (probably about a minute in total), but my BF held me and I cried against his chest. When I pulled away, his eyes were full of tears, and a few spilled out onto his cheeks. We both laughed a little and hugged tightly. I felt good after this, as if I'd let out a little more of the emotion. It was nice.
- •
Thread Starter- handkerchief
- Great One
Offline
- From: Mississippi, USA
- Registered: February 3, 2013
- Posts: 227
Re: I've wanted to cry for a few days
I have a pretty fair working idea of what you're feeling, having gone through the same can of worms with my own mother. You don't get over your emotions all to once...that ain't the way it works. But I'm proud you're making progress. Prayers and large hugs.
Last edited by handkerchief (December 26, 2013 10:45 pm)