This is very interesting flatter and its an aspect of crying I find fasinating. My guess is it's partly physical and partly social in both women and men and effects individiuals differently as they get older.

For very young children crying is about getting the attention of their carer - in babies they don't even shed tears initially. Young children realise it's the sound that gets the attention and by sobbing and bawlng it sure to get noticed quicker - when the tears come with the crying they don't have the embarrasement because I don't think they have the concept of being embarrased at that age,

As they become teenagers male crying drops off dramtically - girls and boys cry about the same and shed roughly the same volume of tears but when puberty hits males stop crying - sometimes almost completely. If they do cry the tear volume is generally far less than before. For me this must be chemically driven by changes in the body and although there will be a social aspect ("big boys don't cry") this is not the driving force. Teen women still continue to cry and will continue to produce tears. Not sure of the exact process but I believe the introduction of the menstral cycle plays a bit part in female crying at this time. Surveys have proposed that female crying at this age is mainly due to relationship issues!

I think that from teens into early adulthood individuals of both sexes realise that they can lose face if they are seen crying. For guys the natural reduction in crying means they are faced with the problem of trying to control their emotions - perhaps one reason why guys in general are not so in tune with their emotions. For women they still cry but they alter the way and time they cry to be more socially acceptable - i.e. they will cry quietly or cry alone.

As adults build close relationships the oppertunity to show emotion without embarrasement is removed for some. I think for guys this can be a huge release - I don't like crying alone (as some adult women prefer to do) and will actively seek out my wife and cry openly with flowing unchecked tears in front of her without embarrsement. That's not to say I will cry in front of anyone but at least in certain circumstances male crying becomes more social again. For women, I think it's harder - they want to cry but they are more effected by the social requirements that views them as weak if they cry.

To focus on your question I think the change from sobbing / bawling crying to quiet crying is primarily social driven. Although most on this forum have different views most don't find crying attractive - they don't like the swollen eyes, tear stained cheeks, wobbly voice, trembling chin etc If they do cry they want to cry like they do in the movie - slient beautiful tears without any snot, noise or red swollen face. Many times this work just fine but I've noticed, male and female crying when it is intense - when a major event is the cause of the crying - it can revert back to sobbing and loud crying.

Any these are just my thoughts - very interesting stuff - thanks for bringing it up. 

There are a number of books about crying I'm surprised you have found then. One is called crying, the natural cultural history of tears. There's another called crying, the mystery of tears. One is called seeing through tears, crying and attachment...another is Adult Crying: A Biopsychosocial Approach. There's holy tears, crying in the religious imagination.
There's one I loved called strength within tears,a path to crying.written by a englishman who like most western men had taught himself not to cry because he felt it was weak until one day he realized that he had to much inside if him and had to teach himself how to cry again. He tells how he went about learning to cry and the ways he feels it helps him in life.it's a short book but very beautiful.

Last edited by inmyarms (December 29, 2013 5:57 pm)

good thing youre fluent in english then