I was supposed to have surgery today which was cancelled (read about my elegant reaction in the crying diary thread)  but as of last night I still thought I would be having it. I was nervous but excited. My husband showed no reaction. Last night we were cuddling in bed and he said "I think I'm more nervous than you". We lay together in the dark for a while and he started holding me very tight. I noticed he was breathing very slowly.like deliberately controlled and he kept having to scratch the inner corner of his nose. I have hill a kiss below the temple and tasted salt. I.said nothing for a while but he squeezed a handful of my nightgown fir feat live and I said to him "I will be coming back you know."
 he said "ok, and?" In the most casual, nonchalant voice he could muster. 
 I said "so you don't have to worry". 
 he realized he was busted and let out a nervous snifflly giggle. He says "ok ok, I'll stop."
I toothy it was one of the cutest encounters we've had for a while. With the surgery canceled I'm sure he'll have to do plenty of consoling tonight assuming I haven't cried myself out today already. Stay tuned.