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- Great One
Offline - Registered: July 26, 2013
- Posts: 425
right time to cry
I was thinking about posting the following for a long time. It feels weird and I feel vulnerable talking or writing about it.
There is an issue I am argueing about with my husband for years. Each time something happens, which brings up this problem, I get very angry. It is something I feel treated unfair and I am not rational to discuss it in a normal way.
Usually I get angry to prevent the sadness, to hide, that I am hurt inside. Also this time I managed to shout and sound very angry, I always have like a mantra going on in my head to prevent the tears from coming in such a situation. It is not the right time to cry, the kids are around and they don't understand why mom and dad are angry with eachother. And there is a sports class right afterwards I want to go to, I can't miss it because it is so important for me. I took the car turned on some music, same like the mantra in the head, just go on, don't break down! I ended in the lavatories of the fitness centre, closing myself into a stall, sheding 4 tears and covering my mouth with my hands to fight the sound of the sobbing.
After the training the urge to cry was gone, there is just a slight dullness in the head. I'm thinking about writing down some points about the issue because I seem not able to talk about, but I let it go like this - until the next time.
- flatter
- Great One
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- Registered: July 26, 2013
- Posts: 425
Re: right time to cry
Another example: brought the kids to karate with the car, just our daughter stayed with me, the rest was in training. when I drove out of the parking space, it was dark and raining, I hit an other car, sh.....I immediatly feeled the tears coming but reacted angry. No time for tears, our daughter is already shoked because of the accident and I have to pick up the foreign kids in karate in a moment.
After I delivered everybody savely at home the urge for crying had gone.
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Thread Starter- tearhunter
- Godlike
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- Registered: July 28, 2011
- Posts: 505
Re: right time to cry
Yes I understand what you are saying - both from my perspective and listening to comments from my wife. I've recently been in situations where I could feel myself crying but did not want to cry because I thought it would get in the way of what I was trying to say / do - see my medical crying self observations for an example! Generally if I'm going to cry I find it very difficult to prevent it - I can put it off for a bit but not for long. I have used this time at work to get out of public view and into the toilets. I've also sat there, crying holding my hand over my mouth to prevent any sound coming out. I've also bent over, looked directly at the floor with my eyes wide open to encourage tears to drip directly from my eyes without running down my face or needing to be wiped away - reckon it helps with the red eyes - not 100% sure it works!
I've also witnessed my wife fighting like crazy to prevent herself from breaking down and crying - she is sometimes successful - sometimes not! When she has managed to stop herself from crying I've often asked about it a few hour later (secretly hoping for some tears!) but more often than not the crying does not return.
Last edited by tearhunter (April 8, 2015 9:30 pm)
- caircair
- Godlike
Offline
- From: Seattle
- Registered: June 23, 2012
- Posts: 630
Re: right time to cry
I remember once reading that if you feel tears coming on, you should look upward without moving your head. This was in an article on Professional Behavior for women - namely, women shouldn't cry at work. Unfortunately, I didn't find that it worked all that well, but if it works for you, please let us know.
"We have our stalking memories, and they will demand their rightful tears."
Anonymous