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Hey all, hope you had a good Christmas!
I'm not sure if this has been discussed before here (possibly was on the old forum but can't remember), but what's your preferred reason for tears in your ideal crying scenario? Or doesn't it matter to you? In my crying fantasies, I always have to set up a reason before I can imagine the tears but that's the part I feel guiltiest about, especially when I'm using people I know rather than famous people, so I prefer them to be crying about something fairly harmless, like a really bad day where a whole bunch of really little things culminate in tears. I don't really like imagining they've experienced the death of a loved one or are in serious physical pain, just because I feel bad about bringing really horrible events into a fantasy that I'm dreaming up for my own enjoyment. Feels a bit sadistic, but I wouldn't judge anyone who felt that the fantasy was better with a more serious and intense reason behind the tears.
How about you guys? Is the reason important?
Lemonie x
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Good question. I prefer intense crying because that's usually when the lip curls. People crying over something banal usually will not cry very hard (and it's pretty annoying if they do). Technically it doesn't matter why they're crying, because for me it's about the sights rather than the experiences. However, I do feel like a bit of a dick when I get turned on by the woman who's crying at a funeral or something like that. I think my favourite scenario is when a sportswoman or any kind of female competitor cries because of winning or losing a competition. They get overwhelmed and cry pretty hard, but you feel less guilty because it's not a serious reason (not to me, anyway).
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My favourite reason is during a staring contest when the eyes get watery and the person lasts long enough I get a perfect tear or two
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My preference is happy tears - people crying at weddings or births etc
The tears tend to flow but they are not hurt physically or emotionally.
Crying because of the baby blue in the few days after childbirth is a good one as well. As long as it does not get out of control most new mum's (including my wife) have cried buckets but don't really know why they are crying.
My wife cried for 5 hours solid with tears streaming down her face completely uncontrollably - but ask her what was wrong and she could not really tell you - she just needed to cry. The volume of tears was amazing.
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I nicknamed myself WoundedPuppy for the expression I like to see in a crying guy (the "wounded puppy dog" look). I guess that means looking vulnerable and like he needs my help. I kind of want to "rescue" a guy, much like rescuing a puppy from the pound, except I want to rescue him on an emotional level -- not provide him food and shelter and take him for walks every day. ;) I know it would seem cruel to some, but I really like the poor-poor-broken-hearted-guy scenario. I want him to open up to me about his fragile, broken heart, even questioning his self worth, sharing his fears, his feelings of being lost, etc. I want him to look to *me* to help him out of his pit of despair and restore his self worth and make him feel confident. And then we bond deeply because of it. I like the idea of building a guy up, I guess.
There are many scenarios I enjoy, this is only one. But a "wounded" guy is a good way to describe the type of guy I like, I guess (this is actually not uncommon... many women like the brooding, dark, rebellious types, for some reason). The way I get around my guilt is that I don't tend to fantasize about fresh wounds... there are some wounds that are deep but have been there a long time, even if there's a recent trigger, and sometimes when you open those wounds and deal with them in a constructive way, it's a healing thing. That's the kind of thing I want, I guess. A healing experience. I don't get off on thinking about being there at a moment that a huge tragedy strikes someone's life. That would probably make me feel sick to my stomach and feel really bad for them. But I like the thought of something having happened years ago, or something that has been building up for a while, and I am helping to make that problem (and that person's life) better now. I rescue, I heal.
It's still just one example, though... I have too many different types of fantasies to explain or count, probably. ;)
Last edited by woundedpuppy (January 1, 2012 4:40 am)
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I was actually thinking about this the other day. I generally agree with Woundedpuppy. I like guys who have had their feelings hurt, or are sad or lonely more on a general level, not necessarily in response to a specific event. I like a "just need to cry" sort of cry. I also love it when a guy cries because he is touched.
I don't go for deaths, total despair, or physical pain. The first two because they're either too sad or tend to get into out-of-control hysterical territory, which actually frightens me a bit. As for crying from physical pain, my feelings about it are really incongruous, considering my fetish. I actually think it's sort of weak. I mean, sure, if it's huge huge pain, that's one thing, but if you hit your head on a door or something, I'm kind of turned off and think, "suck it up, dude."
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I'm with woundedpuppy -- deep, suppressed wounds are my favorite. Like, pain that the guy has been bottling up for so long, and he's finally able to release some of it with me (allowing me to comfort him). I'm not big on physical pain. Happy tears are fine, but they don't necessitate comforting, so they don't play into that angle of my fetish.
For example: my boyfriend has deep, suppressed pain from a terrible childhood, and he lets it out with me when he's feeling particularly vulnerable.
I do like hysterical tears, though. He does cry like that over his suppressed issues. But when we've had tragedies and sudden intense problems, I am more just concerned for him. Sure, I'm automatically aroused, but I don't fantasize about it and my predominant emotion is just extreme concern. And empathy -- I feel a lot of pain for him when some terrible thing has just happened.
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Great answers from all!
I don't tend to go for happy tears as much but they would definitely be the most guilt free. I do think happy crying is a beautiful thing though.
Reptongeek, I have done that before - engaged my boyfriend in a staring contest just to watch his eyes fill with tears! Sadly none escaped.
I definitely identify with the attraction to vulnerable guys who need my help, as described by Woundedpuppy and others - comforting a crying guy is a gorgeous thing! The 'just need to cry' is probably my favourite kind of cry.
Meantangerine - you say hysterical crying frightens you. I think I feel kind of the same, but I also think there might be an element of nervousness to the fetish on all levels, at least in my case. I used to find crying people quite awkward as I didn't know what to do, which then developed into a fascination with tears that I believe may still draw on the adrenaline caused by that sense of fear. Hmm. Interesting.
Also quite interesting that nobody goes for physical pain. I quite like the idea of a guy hurting himself (not seriously) and then trying really hard not to cry because it's not manly, but letting out a few tears anyway. Then he would be all embarrassed about crying, which I LOVE, and I'd get to be all 'No, it's fine, don't worry'. As long as he didn't milk it and wasn't in agony, I could see that being a bit of a turn-on.
And Carrotcake, I know what you mean about feeling mostly concern in certain crying situations. Whether or not I'm aroused by someone's tears, I do still want to make them feel better even if that means they won't cry for as long.
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lemoniep wrote:
Reptongeek, I have done that before - engaged my boyfriend in a staring contest just to watch his eyes fill with tears! Sadly none escaped.
Maybe he has a sixth sense of what you're trying to do!!
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Happy crying is my personal favorite, even though there's no "comforting" aspect present per se, (and I do love comforting!) joyous occasions such as the birth of a baby or a wedding offer a good reason to hug the crying individual. Also, happy occasions can still be tinted with a bit of sadness - such as when a father gives his daughter away at a wedding - or other emotions.
Like woundedpuppy, I do enjoy deep-seated emotional issues as well, with the exception of depression and psychological issues. I've struggled with depression myself in the past, and I can take no pleasure out of a severely depressed person's crying. I'm also not a fan of crying over physical pain, because I find myself sympathizing too deeply with the person who's hurting. Although I do recall one instance where a friend of mine teared up slightly because he felt a very intense pain once after eating something because his teeth were so sensitive. (That was kinda hot.)
I guess I'm the only one so far who enjoys fantasizing about people crying at funerals or over someone's death to comment! Part of what I like so much about crying is the emotional honesty of it, and crying at a funeral or over someone's death is one of the most emotionally honest things I can think of. Yes, the crying person is sad, but it's natural and appropiate to mourn the loss of a loved one with a few tears. (I cried a great deal in the months after my mother died, and we weren't even that close.)
Now, before anyone accuses me of being totally heartless, I would just like to say that in general, my crying fetish only applies to fictional scenarios. I am a total drama whore when it comes to fictional stories, and I enjoy watching people react to very intense scenarios (birth, death, deep emotional issues, etc) in fiction, be it movies, tv, books, or fanfiction. I don't often picture friends/boyfriends or anyone I know in real life crying over the loss of a loved one, but it does happen, and I try not to feel too guilty about it because I know I wouldn't enjoy seeing people I care about in pain.
In real life, I'm a lot more uneasy/concerned about the affected party in crying scenarios, with the exception of "happy" crying. Even if the cause of crying is over a less intense situation, such as a bad day or a breakup, it's rare for me to be turned on at that real-life moment - usually the turn-on aspect happens later, (if at all) long after the person has stopped crying, when I'm replaying the scene in my head.
Last edited by thedreamer (January 5, 2012 12:31 am)