Hi

I am an old member who can't get into their account because I can't remember my password. I may reveal my identity in time (I have quite a few old posts!) but for now, I guess I'll be "Diana". Nice to be back!!! Why don't I start by describing my fetish?

I am a female whose kink revolves around the vulnerability of crying. I am really only interested in male crying although I'm trying to branch out to as many different possibilities as possible (more on that in a bit!). The physical aspects of "the Crying Man" really turn me on, including the wavering of his voice, gasps for breath, tears in his eyes, tears down his cheeks (!!), and all sorts of adorable things. These aspects are how I tend to rate how good a crying scene in a movie is, because the more it is to my particular tastes, the more satisfied I tend to be.

However, when I really analyze it, my fetish is almost more about his LOSS OF CONTROL, my ROLE as I watch him lose control, and the intimacy of that moment. And that is why watching movie clips of crying is not terribly satisfying for me anymore. It used to be, but I haven't watched them (intentionally) in years. The big part missing is that I don't get to play a role. I am merely a spectator!

The kinky role I really dream of (it doesn't SOUND kinky, but considering how much it turns me on) is to soothe the Crying Man... hug him, cuddle him, comfort him, stroke him, bond with him on some level. Although I don't want my efforts to *stop* his crying (the good news is that feeling a sense of comfort from another person can often make even more tears flow).  I would love a whole entire day of him crying on and off, up and down, up and down, until we fell asleep from exhaustion.  I'm basically about...

Him being completely helpless and vulnerable and me embracing his vulnerability with love (including platonic).  Him being a mess of streaming tears, his voice weak and breaking, unable to say a full sentence without gasping, sighing or moaning, not having any composure, try as he might to bravely pretend he still has some left (the trying is so sexy too!). I like that he is overcome by something invisible.  I love his powerlessness. It melts me. I want to be near it.

Can anyone relate?

While I have not considered my role to be "dominant" and his to be "submissive", I am taking a more open mind to this concept lately as I think there are more ways this could be lived out in real life than waiting around for the perfect scenario described above (which, by the way, never happens to me).  I haven't had a real-life "crying observation" in years. Literally years.  Male one, that is. Which is sort of why I left. I couldn't stand it anymore. I wanted to bury my fetish because it was so unfulfilled that it just seemed to be making me unhappy and why continue doing something if it makes you unhappy?

But it never really went away.  This fetish is part of me, and such a powerful interest, that I can't keep it locked away anymore. Rather than hide it, I'm going to nurture it and bring it into more and MORE aspects of my life. It's going to make me HAPPY again!!!!  I am soooo excited to explore different dynamics with it! For example, I've figured out a way to get into the concept of BDSM. I couldn't relate before, although I certainly never judged anyone for it and was sort of intrigued (I am quite intrigued by fetishes in general, even if they're not ones I share). Well, it turns out I like the thought of a self-identified submissive man being turned on by his own vulnerability and am able to fantasize about that scenario too! In the past, I wanted the man to struggle against his tears to some degree.  I thought his wanting not to cry made him seem all the more helpless. I still do like that concept... BUT... I am also turned on by a man being turned on in general... and hey, if that man is turned on by feeling helpless, well, wait, we have something in common then... we are BOTH turned on by his helplessness!!  And being turned on by the same weird kink is sexy!  So, in that scenario, if I had to play the dominant role, at least I'd still get to see the end result of tears and helplessness, and the fact that it also turned him on would also make it a guilt-free situation!

I'm not saying I'm running off now to join the BDSM forums... if that was the answer, I'd already be there (much bigger community than here!).  I'm just saying, I'm blowing open my mind to everyday ways in which this fetish could potentially be lived out. And the thought of living it out is sooooo exciting!!!!  What I described above isn't an everyday situation (unless one were in a relationship with that guy!), but I bet there ARE ways to live it regularly, is all I'm saying. Ethical ways. Little ways.

Anyway, I know everyone's kink in here is slightly different, but I would love to hear about the different ways members of this forum have lived out their fetishes in their daily lives.  Is it just movie clips?  Or is there something more indirect, more frequent, and even more accessible than that?  

An example:

I was in a situation once where I watched a friend encounter a phobia. I didn't know he had this phobia. It was something I wasn't the slightest bit afraid of and my first thought was... uhh... really?? Come on -- this is nothing!! And my immediate second thought was... OK, that was actually kind of sexy... wow...

Fear of innocuous things as being sexy, who knew!  But then, that makes sense for my fetish, because fear is another type of emotional vulnerability.  I'm not interested in cruising phobia websites, but it's just a little thing I noticed.  I think the key is to be alert, aware, and notice all the cool little things in my life, and to find ways of asserting myself into situations that will satisfy me on some level.  

Anyone turned on by their own crying or vulnerability?

I am generally not, but I can definitely find this side of myself when I go looking for it. For example, I actually want to cry a bit with Crying Man. A little bit. Not half as much as he is or the dynamic would change and it would be too distracting, but I want to ride the emotional rollercoaster with him. To feel the thrills and feel my stomach drop, feel my heart pang, etc.  And besides, I think it would make him feel a little less lonely and self conscious in his own crying.  

But hey -- an emotional rollercoaster doesn't have to involve crying to still be thrilling.

See where I'm going with this?

Well, if anyone's still reading this, would love to hear if there's any little ways you bring your crying fetish into your real (non-online) life. Are you turned on by hankies or tissues and keeping one in your pocket gives you a secret little thrill? If so, you're really lucky! It's great when you can take control of your fetish YOURSELF. That is my goal.  To take control of it.  To have a life where I get to be ME again.  This is a big part of who I am and I'm not repressing it anymore... I am expressing it!!!  And I'm NOT depending on the off-chance that I get into a situation where some guy cries in order to get satisfied.  That is the biggest difference between the old me and the new me and why I was so unhappy and unfulfilled with the fetish.  I am now on an exciting journey in which I am taking care of satisfying my OWN needs!!!!  I will become whatever I need to become!!!!!  

I am TRANSFORMING and am grateful a place still exists where I can post and share this with other people who understand what a crying fetish is!

Thanks for listening.  I promise not to make such a long post next time!

Last edited by Diana (February 7, 2016 1:32 am)