CairCair - you are absolutely right, there are times when it's no fun at all. I have experienced this myself - there's been times I've been in pain, dizzy and spaced out from the medication and generally feeling really rubbish! And then to top it all I'd start bursting into tears - really crying for 30+ minutes at times. And I could honestly see it far enough - would go as far as to say I hated it. But, I still got the sparks of enjoyment ever now and again. It took me a long time to decide if I wanted to come back to this forum - much sole searching was done - but it's still part of me so I eventually made the decision to come back. But, I only did this when I felt strong enough - and while my emotions are still all over the place for one reason and another I'm at a stage were I think the tears are helping me rather than pulling me under.

But, you are right and we must always remember that cry at times is incredibly traumatic for the crier - one reason why I always try and focus on the person that's crying first - tend to there needs - and think back on the crying in my mind later. 

caircair wrote:

Having been in a situation with a guy who is frequently weepy and out of control, I can tell you it isn't as fun as it sounds. My husband, back in the day, had very frequent panic attacks, complete with hysteria, and when that happened I was so focused on helping him relieve the pain I got absolutely NO joy out of it - in fact, toward the end when the attacks were coming roughly 3 times a week, I was so over the entire thing that I began resenting his loss of control. I've found that, while it's fun to imagine certain scenarios, when you're actually in them they're not nearly as enjoyable.

Caircair, I'm sorry you and your husband had to go through that and thanks for sharing that perspective.  Personally-speaking, I can't picture myself resenting a guy's crying unless he was faking it or offending me in some way (being manipulative with it or crying about the wrong thing, maybe?) but I'm sure you're right that many crying situations don't turn out to be nearly as fun as they sound and could become overwhelming or even frustrating and I suppose there can even be such a thing as crying observation burnout as there's a burnout point with pretty much everything else in life once you get saturated by too much of it.  I still stand by my statement that with all other things being equal, I would be more turned on by a longer crying obs than a short obs, but I suppose I was picturing the obs taking place within a day or weekend... when I wrote that, I was picturing what it would be like to be with a guy who just got dumped or something like that... a situation where he is crying, then stopping, then thinking about it again and starts crying again, then stopping, and although there are little breaks between the crying, he basically seems on the edge all day... but wasn't picturing him on the edge his whole life... perhaps this is a distinction to make... at that point, it gets much darker... there is something not right about it... he wouldn't be well... I totally understand where that no longer has the same effect...

Sorry for your situation too, Tearhunter.  As much as I am enjoying your posts, if I thought you should leave, I would tell you to leave.  But you seem OK.  I think Ella has brought up a good example of a crying fantasy that a lot of us have and I think there's probably a reason why a lot of us have it... the fact that the "sad thing" happened in the PAST helps keep the fantasy from becoming too dark... it may still hurt to talk about it, but it's an old wound... with things that are currently still happening, it's a challenge with this fetish to get the balance right so that the crying is abundant (and reason enough for comforting to be warranted) yet the situation is not too disturbing... there's got to be enough light in there... you can't have it too dark or it doesn't work anymore...

Anyway, glad you are starting to find your way back to the light, and hope you find more and more of it as your recovery continues! 
 

Last edited by Diana (March 11, 2016 9:06 am)

I had a session of psychosexual therapy. I went in there half thinking that I might talk about it with my therapist. The main reason I didn't say anything is because the therapist was an old man. I don't know why, but if it was a young woman I might have been more inclined to tell.

Nice to read so many posts where people have related to something I've said.  Thanks for sharing, Yowza and Squonk.  TorNorth, if you ever do tell a female counsellor about your fetish, you'll have to let us know how it goes!

I haven't been walking around telling people about my fetish, but I do feel more comfortable at least with the concept of discussing crying in general (the "c" word, haha) with non-fetishists since my initial post, so that's a step forward.  It had felt somewhat awkward for me to bring it up in conversation unless someone else brought it up first, but I find it's not coming up nearly enough and meanwhile I'm getting old and impatient... so that definitely helps with motivation to just go for it!

And to give further context to this situation, I've gotten mulitple dick pics from this guy which mostly elicit a yawn from me....but the thought of him crying in front of me....THAT gives me palpitations...it's like the ultimate unattainable fantasy