This was harder than I thought.  I've never lost a friend before.  She was pretty young.  Died of a pulmonary embolism.  She left 3 kids. 
There was a lot of crying of every kind.  Myself included.  I'll describe the funural in more detail later.  I will tell you just now that when I came home I slid to the floor and sobbed.  Major lip curl for those who go for that.  Not as many tears which surprised new because I am usually a big heavy tear producer.  I had many tears at the funeral itself.  But I. Digress.  When I stood up I had two big tears come sliding down.  I went upstairs to my apartment and had tears ready to come out but I held them back because my 7 year old daughter wanted to show me a project she'd been making. 
When I went to my room I closed the door and sobbed again now softly and let the tears flow.  Two fell heavily onto my dress and left big dark spots.  I cried like this on and off for the last several hours.

At one point a friend called to discuss the woman we lost. I cried softly on the phone but when I hung up I totally lost it.  Big heavy sobs that I tried to keep from being too loud,  big lip curl,  and heavy tears that I let flow unchecked although they were stopped by the hand I had over my mouth.  I've been on the verge of tears since then and expect to cry more when this friend calls back later to continue our conversation. 

As for the funeral,  I mostly saw people's backs but there were many heavily heaving shoulders. And I could hear men's sobbing heavily,  shamelessly from at least 4 or five grown men maybe more though I couldn't see their faces.  I'll write more about the women's faces I could see and I crony I could hear a little later.  But this is the first time I've cried truly in a long time.

Last edited by inmyarmsagain (May 22, 2016 9:27 pm)