1 of 1- cribdeaths
- Full Member
Offline - Registered: January 22, 2016
- Posts: 15
Philia/Phobia
I've noticed a lot of you talk about enjoying comforting your crying lovers and things like that, but I've noticed that I really only like watching, like seeing strangers or actors in a film. If someone I know or am close to does it in front of me, I usually feel indifferent, or sometimes even disgusted! And I definitely don't like being cried on in real life. I actually wasn't invited to a family funeral recently because of how poorly I handle emotion in real life. I'm dismissive and uncomfortable. I was actually relieved when my new SO told me he never cries in front of others. Does anyone else find that they only find this arousing when they're not actually involved, or that they are actually uncomfortable with tears irl?
- caircair
- Godlike
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- From: Seattle
- Registered: June 23, 2012
- Posts: 628
Re: Philia/Phobia
IRL I am too busy wanting to make the crying person feel better to enjoy the experience. I have always preferred to be a "spectator" to crying.
"We have our stalking memories, and they will demand their rightful tears."
Anonymous
- Ella
- Great One
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- Registered: June 24, 2015
- Posts: 201
Re: Philia/Phobia
To an extent, yes I am the same way.
If my family or husband is crying I get very uncomfortable. Oftentimes this is happening it might even be my fault or I'm involved in the source of the pain too etc. So my focus is fixing the situation.
If it's somebody new or very attractive or that I have a crush on or don't know that well but want to, I tend to be intrigued by the idea of their crying and would probably want to see it. IF such a person actually started crying to me or on me, it'd probably be too overwhelming and I wouldn't know what to do! (Pretty sure it's never happened)
So yes i guess being an observer is preferable to me
Also, myself crying in front of anyone is one of my biggest fears
Last edited by Ella (June 17, 2016 3:48 pm)
- abcd1234
- Senior member
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- Registered: January 30, 2013
- Posts: 165
Re: Philia/Phobia
This is very similar with me too, I am totally not pleased or even overwhelmed if my husband is crying. Also I don't want him to be crying and want to take away his pain. My crying fetisch is also in voyeristic kind of way, thats why I prefer mostly actors crying, and that I am not interested in the reason what makes them cry. I like the crying per se, mostly when it's done be handsome manly actors.
Also, if I see a new actor, I want him to be seen crying...
- NeedHerSobs
- Moderator
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- From: The Northeast
- Registered: March 13, 2016
- Posts: 369
Re: Philia/Phobia
I tend to respond that way when I see men crying. I think it's because I'm 100% heterosexual so there's no possibility of attraction. When I see a man crying, I only feel sadness (or schadenfreude) as the case may be.
I have a buddy with PTSD from the army. I remember him telling me once about a letter he had got from the old Lieutenant, and he choked up and averted his face so I wouldn't see him cry. It only broke my heart.
"Bless me now with your fierce tears..."