So, a few days ago, I had my first boyfriend crying experience since we moved in together last month.  It wasn't as enjoyable for me as I'd hoped it would be since something I said caused it, but it still bears mentioning.

We were lying in bed planning out the rest of our day and I had asked him if he wanted to go grocery shopping.  He did, but when we figured out how much we had to spend, he ended up having very little on his end.  I was a little miffed because he'd been spending a fair amount of money on personal items and things of that nature rather than taking stuff like this into consideration.  It wasn't a huge deal, but I guess it was obvious something was bothering me because he put an arm around me and asked what was wrong.  I told him and he got really quiet and rolled away onto his back.  I asked him to please talk to me, and after a few minutes he explained that he felt like a huge jerk, etc.  I tried to talk to him about it, say he wasn't a jerk and just wasn't used to living together yet, etc., but nothing I said really had any effect on him.  After a minute, he rolled onto his stomach and pulled his hood up over his head, facing away from me.  I held him for a minute and then asked him to come out, which he quickly refused to do.  I laid with him for another minute, rubbing his back, and then said, "Please, hon?" and finally he sat up and put his hood down.  He wasn't crying, but he just looked very glum.  I pressed my nose into his cheek and started trying to tell him how he was really a great person, etc., but he cut me off and said none of it would help any and that we should just try to go eat the food I had made earlier and forget about it.  I followed him to go get it, but he just sat down with it and stared out into space.  I sat down with him as well, and he slowly got into a little more of an explanation of what he'd spent his money on, which included telling me about something really mean and ungrateful his dad had done the day before.  As he was talking, I could see his mouth start to distort in that way that shows the person is going to cry (not a bulging lip, but like their mouth can't help but frown no matter what else they're trying to do with it, if you know what I mean).  I tried reassuring him that I didn't blame him for spending his money the way he did in the story and that I wanted him to take care of himself when he was upset. I told him it was okay that he was upset right now, too, but I didn't want him beating himself up over it, and I gave him a hug and a kiss on the cheek.  We talked for a couple more minutes, and he started genuinely crying (no sobs or anything, but there were a few tears and his voice was much less controlled as he spoke). I asked if he wanted to go lay down with me again, and he did.  He laid back down on the bed on his back with his head slightly propped up from pillows.  I could see tears run out of the corner of his eye. I put an arm around him and laced my fingers with his and rested my head against his chest when I wasn't looking at his face. He told me money issues are probably the thing that most upsets him at this point in his life, and that nothing I said would really make him feel any better.  I told him it was okay and I would just lie with him.  He apologized at one point for being upset, but I told him that it was fine and that I wanted to be there for him.  Then, he changed the subject and we started talking about cheerier things.  His crying soon abated and we spent an hour or so just lying there talking and joking around.  After a bit, we got up to move some laundry around, and when we got back into bed, he said he wanted to take a nap because of exhaustion (both emotional and due to little sleep). I put an arm around him and he soon fell asleep.  It was about 8:30 PM by this point, and we ended up just staying in bed for the rest of the night.  It was interesting, because usually he doesn't let me cuddle when he's sleeping long-term because it interrupts his sleep, but this time, we cuddled all night long, and there were times when he pulled my arm around him and stuff, so it wasn't just him being polite.  The next morning, he said something about having done it for me. I do complain sometimes about not getting to sleep-cuddle with him anymore, but I still found that a little random.  I'm not sure if he did it because he felt the need to make it up to me for the money thing and knew that would make me happy or if he found it comforting and didn't want to admit it. Maybe both.

Anyway, that was my first cohabitating boyfriend cry.  It wasn't quite the sobbing extravaganza I'd fantasized about and I hate that I was the one that set the whole thing into motion, but I'm still really glad that he let me in and didn't try to hide the fact that he was crying or refuse my physical comfort. The experience of nothing I could say making any difference was pretty unsettling, though.  Have any of you ever been in that position?