I absolutely LOATHE crying, especially in front of others. I hold it in as long as I can - and deny that anything is wrong - until I simply can't hold it any more and then I lock myself in a room and let go, hating myself all the while.

What's weird is that my big crying fetish involves comforting others - but I just can't STAND it when anyone tries to comfort me! Not only am I uncomfortable, but I also get angry with the other person - HOW DARE THEY intrude on my privacy that way?!!

This may be partly due to the fact that, as I get older, I find myself getting more misanthropic day by day. I really don't like "people" much, and, if I had my druthers, I'd live with minimal human contact (preferably none). This may also be due to the fact my job entails dealing with the public, talking to them on the phone and bearing the brunt of the ignorance and entitlement that it seems are becoming more pandemic every day.

Yes, at the moment I'm in a very foul humor. I don't know whether I want to smash every piece of glassware in the place, or drug myself into a stupor with an extra dose of Xanix so I can sleep it off.
Never waking up also seems lovely.

caircair wrote:

I absolutely LOATHE crying, especially in front of others. I hold it in as long as I can - and deny that anything is wrong - until I simply can't hold it any more and then I lock myself in a room and let go, hating myself all the while.

What's weird is that my big crying fetish involves comforting others - but I just can't STAND it when anyone tries to comfort me! Not only am I uncomfortable, but I also get angry with the other person - HOW DARE THEY intrude on my privacy that way?!!

This may be partly due to the fact that, as I get older, I find myself getting more misanthropic day by day. I really don't like "people" much, and, if I had my druthers, I'd live with minimal human contact (preferably none). This may also be due to the fact my job entails dealing with the public, talking to them on the phone and bearing the brunt of the ignorance and entitlement that it seems are becoming more pandemic every day.

Yes, at the moment I'm in a very foul humor. I don't know whether I want to smash every piece of glassware in the place, or drug myself into a stupor with an extra dose of Xanix so I can sleep it off.
Never waking up also seems lovely.

I can relate to this up to a point, as I'm someone who tends to develop very strong feelings about people.  I'm rarely neutral about them:  I either like them very much, or I strongly dislike them.  I'm also one of those people who can tell within the first couple minutes of meeting a new person whether I like that person or not, and who can sense it if there's something "off" or "not quite right" (i.e. dishonest or sociopathic) about someone else.

As I also hate entitlement and crass, vulgar speech and behavior, I think I understand the feelings that prompted your rant.  On the other hand, I truly hope you're only exaggerating with the "never waking up" part.
 

Ella wrote:

caircair wrote:

I absolutely LOATHE crying, especially in front of others. I hold it in as long as I can - and deny that anything is wrong - until I simply can't hold it any more and then I lock myself in a room and let go, hating myself all the while.

What's weird is that my big crying fetish involves comforting others - but I just can't STAND it when anyone tries to comfort me! Not only am I uncomfortable, but I also get angry with the other person - HOW DARE THEY intrude on my privacy that way?!!

This in the quotes very much applies to me as well. I'm not naturally much of a crier and I've gotten good at fighting it when necessary.

Knowing there was something emotional in the future, especially if in an inescapable public setting, would bring me a lot of anxiety on how I was going to avoid crying.

I feel sort of similar. It's not even necessarily the visibility of the setting, just that I'm dreading the oncoming ache and know that crying will make me feel worse rather than better. Though some of the women on here might enjoy seeing a big, burly, bearded lumber-jack looking guy like me dissolving into a teary mess, I'll just be feeling horrible. 

And to echo what was said above, I'm sorry for your troubles, Caircair, and I hope you won't do anything drastic with regards to "never waking up."
 

Last edited by NeedHerSobs (August 22, 2016 1:47 am)

Wow.  I identify with a few of you right now.  I too am probably going to be saying goodbye to one of the few friends I have tomorrow, seeing her in a restaurant and dreading that I may start crying.  Don't mind crying on my own, but feel stupid doing it in front of other people.  
Like caircair, I don't like most people very much and like White Tulip I form strong opinions on people, positive and negative, pretty quickly.  At work I finally found a person who I relate to and get along with really well (even suspected she might relate to my dacryphlia) and has become something of a friend, and I believe she's meeting me tomorrow to tell me she's not coming back.  I'm tearing up just thinking about it.  I'm surprised at how strongly this is affecting me.  Grrrr.