Sorry to post another short obs. Yesterday I had an experience that goes round and round in my head. For several years now I know a man who works in the alternative medical field. Usually these folks are more sensitive than average and I had a lot of conversations about life and more serious issues with him. Sorry again, I hope it is not too intriguing- met him yesterday with only his underwear, he is a bear type of man, shaves also his hair on his belly, breast and on his legs. He told me about a dying member of his family and we talked for some time about grieving. When I was leaving he suddenly grabbed me and hugged me really tight. Usually we only shake hands, we are not so close. When he was hugging me I could feel his breast heaving, he hold me for quite a time, in the middle he let go of me and kissed me on both cheeks and mumbled "I am glad that you are here" only to burry his head at my shoulder again. When he finally let go of me his eyes were brimming with tears and he wiped them away with his fingers.
So what is going around in my head is of course the crying but also the fact that he was hugging me only in his underwear (he knows that I am married). I could feel everything of his body and I can say that he was not aroused. Generally he must have been very upset about the dying person and I feel ashamed I was enjoying the griev in some way.