Crying Lovers / My obsession with Crying might not be a fetish

**Posted by Attracted to the Darkness** May 13, 2022 7:33 am

The reason I think this is because I get no sexual or romantic arousal from crying, but I get this intense chemical reaction in my brain when masculine people I am attracted to cry, and it feels good. Sort of like I'm feeling the intensity of their emotions but only the happy chemicals that get released through crying, and without actually crying.

Let me know if anyone else here is like this. I have a therapy session in the morning so hopefully I can talk to her about this and get her two sense. It makes me wildly uncomfortable to tell people about this but I'll do it for the betterment of my own mental health and to hopefully be able to provide some info as to why some of us are like this.

**Posted by TorNorth** May 13, 2022 1:37 pm

A fetish doesn't have to be sexual or romantic.

**Posted by The Rescuer** May 13, 2022 1:48 pm

This is very much like me (although I have very little sex drive in general, so it's difficult to tell whether I get anything from crying specifically). Feeling the intensity of the other person's emotion is a good way to put it. It's also mostly related to masculine people for me. But, it is still incredibly romantic for me. I usually want to comfort the people I'm dating or have a crush on.

I have talked with a therapist about this before, but I don't think she understood what I was talking about - she just said it is normal to want to comfort someone you're in a relationship with. I had more luck reading up on my own and reflecting on my childhood. There are a lot of potential reasons why this became important to me. One is that my mother used to tell me that my father (who was abusive) was incapable of feeling real emotions and that when he cried, it was only to manipulate us. So I was forbidden from comforting him. This probably created a lot of pent-up care and concern for crying people, especially men. Also, I was pretty emotionally neglected by my parents. I used to imagine the ways in which I would treat my future partners better than my parents were treating me, and that included listening to their emotions and rescuing them in their times of greatest need. So I think that when I'm comforting someone, I'm sort of also comforting my neglected younger self and making up for what happened to her.

**Posted by caircair** May 14, 2022 1:38 am

I'm the same. Seeing someone (generally a man) crying doesn't make me "hot and bothered", it makes me feel very protective. My urge is to wrap my arms around them and hold them, but not in a sexual way. For me, comforting someone crying is in many ways more satisfying than sex.

**Posted by Princess_Lucky1731** May 14, 2022 4:57 am

caircair wrote:
I'm the same. Seeing someone (generally a man) crying doesn't make me "hot and bothered", it makes me feel very protective. My urge is to wrap my arms around them and hold them, but not in a sexual way. For me, comforting someone crying is in many ways more satisfying than sex.

I couldn't have said it better. I'm not turned on by anyone crying either, rather I get an emotional satisfaction. I too get a strong urge to wrap my arms around them and comfort them. I prefer to comfort males in general. Doesn't matter if I know them or not I still get the emotional satisfaction; but with females I only get the emotional satisfaction if they are super close to me (relative/friend) not just any random female. Definitely WAY more satisfying than sex.

**Posted by reptongeek** May 14, 2022 7:57 am

I do get aroused from crying on TV and movies. If I see tears welling in a hot girl's eyes it does affect me in someway. If the tears then come down the face I do have a chemical reaction to them, and get very annoyed if the tears don't fall or the camera cuts away

I have noticed I get aroused writing crying scenes for the role play, which is why sometimes the sentence 'tears running down her cheeks' sometimes incongruously appears in situations where the character concerned wouldn't normally cry in real life. My most recent two posts on the role play for example

**Posted by Amans lacrimae** May 14, 2022 2:44 pm

I am curious, how did the psychologist session go, what did she say about it? Honestly I am not sure if afraid or embarrassed to bring this topic to my psychologist.

In my case I am sure it is a fet, I get extremely turned on by tears, both emotionally and sexually, even though my sexual drive is not normally high, like our dear The Rescuer.

Last edited by Amans lacrimae (May 14, 2022 5:14 pm)

**Posted by Ella** May 29, 2022 11:34 am

Attracted to the Darkness wrote:
The reason I think this is because I get no sexual or romantic arousal from crying, but I get this intense chemical reaction in my brain when masculine people I am attracted to cry, and it feels good. Sort of like I'm feeling the intensity of their emotions but only the happy chemicals that get released through crying, and without actually crying.

This is how it is for me too. I might have gone my whole life not knowing there was such a fetish (or that anyone else felt the same) except for ONE single time it turned kinda sexual and I looked up "arousal from men crying" and so many things from my past made more sense.