Crying Lovers / Anyone for whom crying isn't exactly a sexual thing?

**Posted by PhoebeOnThePhone** May 3, 2020 12:00 am

My dacryphilia isn't directly sexual, it's more of a hurt/comfort thing, an emotional attachment thing. Sort of like... emotional arousal, rather than sexual arousal. And yet for all my insistence that it's primarily emotional, I can't deny that it's some kind of... adjacent to sexuality, if nothing else because only male crying works on me, and I'm primarily sexually into men (I think? My sexuality takes a paragraph or two to explain which is why I just ID as queer)? I dunno. When I talk about it like this (and I only talk about it like this to y'all--actually wait no there was one podcaster listenin to me talk about it at a bar after a live show. Bless him he listened intently like he found it interesting), I end up feeling like I'm just trying to lie to myself that I'm not an emotional sadist getting sexual jollies off of pain. It's more I'm an emotional masochist--I like the feeling of my heart being stomped on.
Dammit this isn't making me look any less sexual-fetishy.
Am I making sense at all?

**Posted by Amans lacrimae** May 3, 2020 1:31 am

I agree with you, in my case, sometimes it can also be seen as a comfort/protect thing, I actually wiped a few tears from my wife a couple of hours ago with no sexual interest, just the spark of being needed to hug her, comfort her and wipe her tears.

**Posted by Dacrypticphile** May 3, 2020 4:52 am

I'm the same way. I'm asexual, which makes my reaction to seeing/hearing a woman crying really hard to describe! It's definitely arousing, both physically and emotionally, but it never motivates me to desire sexual activity with someone. And it's also largely a hurt/comfort thing. I definitely want to hold the person and support them somehow, even if I often freeze when I see someone crying in front of me. That's also why I was so frustrated for so long that nobody I dated cried nearly as much as I do! Luckily, my sweetheart of two months is a beautiful crier, and knows my whole deal.

Long story short, I totally feel you, and don't think you're nearly as perverted or twisted as you think you are.

**Posted by Princess_Lucky1731** May 3, 2020 5:25 am

I agree completely. Crying is nothing sexual at all for me either (and yes it also has to be a male who is crying). But I love to comfort men who are vulnerable/ hurting and I love wiping their tears just as much.

**Posted by Amans lacrimae** May 3, 2020 2:50 pm

Dacrypticphile wrote:
That's also why I was so frustrated for so long that nobody I dated cried nearly as much as I do! Luckily, my sweetheart of two months is a beautiful crier, and knows my whole deal.

Finally you have someone to hold and comfort when she(he?) is crying. You mention a beautiful crier, that leads that your sweetheart has definitely cried in front of you, mind sharing an obs?

**Posted by Amans lacrimae** May 3, 2020 2:52 pm

Princess_Lucky1731 wrote:
I agree completely. Crying is nothing sexual at all for me either (and yes it also has to be a male who is crying). But I love to comfort men who are vulnerable/ hurting and I love wiping their tears just as much.

Hello Princess_Lucky1731, have you had the chance lately to wipe a guy's tears? I remember you seldom had the opportunity, has that changed?

**Posted by PhoebeOnThePhone** May 3, 2020 10:56 pm

Dacrypticphile wrote:
I'm the same way. I'm asexual, which makes my reaction to seeing/hearing a woman crying really hard to describe! It's definitely arousing, both physically and emotionally, but it never motivates me to desire sexual activity with someone. And it's also largely a hurt/comfort thing. I definitely want to hold the person and support them somehow, even if I often freeze when I see someone crying in front of me. That's also why I was so frustrated for so long that nobody I dated cried nearly as much as I do! Luckily, my sweetheart of two months is a beautiful crier, and knows my whole deal.

Long story short, I totally feel you, and don't think you're nearly as perverted or twisted as you think you are.

It's good to be with people who understand. The hurt/comfort is strong!
I've seen a few men cry or at least be near tears, but alas, with one of them I didn't feel it would be appropriate to get that physically intimate (I had a crush on him, he knew, he didn't return my feelings but was very gracious and patient with me and was cool with being friends. I followed his lead with how much and what kind of physical contact we made, which at the time did not include deep comforting hugs) and the other two were crying because it was my sister's memorial service, and while we hugged, I was also crying so not in the headspace for dacryphilia.

**Posted by Princess_Lucky1731** May 4, 2020 3:58 am

Amans lacrimae wrote:
Princess_Lucky1731 wrote:
I agree completely. Crying is nothing sexual at all for me either (and yes it also has to be a male who is crying). But I love to comfort men who are vulnerable/ hurting and I love wiping their tears just as much.
Hello Princess_Lucky1731, have you had the chance lately to wipe a guy's tears? I remember you seldom had the opportunity, has that changed?

Unfortunately I have not had the chance to wipe any tears in a long time ((men or women (although I prefer men)). I wiped an ex friend of mines tears years ago when we were friends and my husband's tears once (although that time it was just a single tear). Nor have I seen any real tears (apart from videos on the internet or in tv shows) in a long time either.