Crying Lovers / Guilt Over Being a Dacryphile

**Posted by Dacrypticphile** December 3, 2020 9:30 pm

Long story short, I had a very brief obs today that made me feel awful. Normally, I don't have too big of a problem with this side of myself, but every now and again this overwhelming sense of guilt and shame just hits me and I feel really gross. I mean, I am literally attracted to a person's distress and vulnerability! And the sight and sound of my partner sobbing into a tissue is going to be burned into my memory forever! They don't like being emotionally vulnerable like that, and I don't blame them, but I at least want to be able to support them. Sometimes I worry that part of the reason they hate crying in front of me is because I'm a dacryphile and they know it. I would never judge someone for being emotionally vulnerable, and I want to be available to them if they need a shoulder to cry on. But no, the one person for whom I did fill that role left in July, and now I'm just left feeling guilty and gross for wanting to hold my crying partner.

Am I the only one who feels guilty over being a dacryphile? Does this make any sense at all? I just feel so gross right now.

**Posted by Amans lacrimae** December 3, 2020 10:18 pm

I am pretty sure you are not the only one, I just happen not to feel guilty. It does make sense, I wouldn't think people knowing you are a dac would affect the crying interaction with you, I'm glad nobody know about my dac. Don't worry, everything will turn out fine, don't overthink about it.

**Posted by caircair** December 4, 2020 5:25 am

Such feelings may be why my obs of choice are always acted ones - TV and movie crying scenes, preferably male. The few obs I've had in real life -- if it's someone I know, my urge to comfort overwhelms the arousal so I don't get turned on -- if it's a stranger, I find myself listening intently while trying not to be too obvious about watching.

**Posted by reptongeek** December 5, 2020 8:43 am

I feel the same except my preferences are female. I tend to feel much better if I watch a movie/tv scene of someone crying or an acting monologue/staring contest on YT

Although it depends when I watch Shayla for instance doing her reaction vids, I don't mind watching silent tears running down her cheeks but get uncomfortable when she sobs

**Posted by truffle** December 6, 2020 4:31 am

I compartmentalize my dacryphilia. If I ever find myself feeling guilty for enjoying someone's tears, then I try to remove myself from that situation. I try to use crying/comforting to strengthen my relationships whenever possible. Easier said than done.