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September 22, 2017 8:16 pm  #21

Re: Feeling tearful today

woundedpuppy wrote:

you've got people who care about your pain who don't even know you.

Very true!

I'm sorry to hear you're going through a tough time, TorNorth, and like everyone here, I'll be sending good thoughts and best wishes your way.

Also, for what it's worth, I really appreciate you sharing these self-observations with us. I know it's not always easy to write about yourself. The level of detail in your descriptions has been especially nice. 


September 26, 2017 10:24 pm  #22

Re: Feeling tearful today

TorNorth wrote:

@Flatter: It was a very constipated cry, and so it gave me no relief. I think I'm too used to clenching emotions to let it out properly. I became a little tearful today as well. I pounded the bed with my fist and then had my fist on my forehead. My eyes teared up.

@meantangerine: Yes I'm willing, by pm.

It  can take concious practice to overcome the ingrained habit of withholding crying necessary for release.
There's a small book i saw, an ebook called stength within tears in which the author explains how he went about that. It might interest you.
I hope things get better


September 27, 2017 10:47 pm  #23

Re: Feeling tearful today

Thanks all for the generous words. Things have gotten a bit better, and moving towards the mend. It's been so long since I experienced these emotions, that it was like the first time. I'm discovering sensations of what it's like to cry. For  example, I always thought sobs poured out from the lump in the throat - when in actual fact the lump just made me tearful, while sobs erupted from the chest. There even a weird feeling of drowning and helplessness. I'm not sure I enjoy it (probably because my tears came from a pretty sad place), but I definitely felt I needed it. Including a cropped image of a tear on my cheek:

Ugly crying is pretty crying
     Thread Starter

September 28, 2017 12:46 pm  #24

Re: Feeling tearful today

Oh, wow...Love the image! Thank you for sharing! You are quite handsome, so that makes it even more appealing to me! I am so sorry you are having such a rough time, TorNorth. Crying after you haven't for a long time is very difficult. I cry all the time, so I am not speaking from experience, but from watching what my husband went through. He was not a crier at all when we met, and the first time he cried was so hard for him. It was like I had to consciously, emotionally "push" him by holding him, saying it would be OK, he was safe with me, let it go, was such a hard cry when he finally let it out. So many years of anger and pain came flooding out of him. Now - 10 years later, he is the most sensitive person and cries very easily if he has to. Then again, in those ten years, we have lost numerous pets and family, including his mother AND father, so I do believe that loss and hardship definitely play a part in people letting go.
Where are you from, by the way? I meant to ask you if your username meant something? Also, would you be willing to share what you videotaped with us? If not publicly on the forum, could you please PM me with it? I am looking forward to it! Again,I am sorry you are dealing with whatever it is you are dealing with, but I am very glad that you were able to let some of it out. Best wishes! 


September 29, 2017 5:43 am  #25

Re: Feeling tearful today

Beautiful pic of you crying, TorNorth.  Thanks for sharing.


September 29, 2017 6:59 am  #26

Re: Feeling tearful today

@missyjdma: I'm glad you could help draw it out of your husband. Unfortunately, my wife couldn't be beside me at that time through no fault of her own. I live in the UK though I'm of South Asian descent. My username has no reflection on that. I'm not showing the video, but I can show more screencaps through pm.

@woundedpuppy: unfortunately I haven't managed to capture more than single tears. The one time I shed multiple tears was not filmed. That picture was taken right after I sobbed and shed several tears.

Ugly crying is pretty crying
     Thread Starter

September 29, 2017 1:27 pm  #27

Re: Feeling tearful today

Yes - TorNorth, I would love that! Thank you! 


October 2, 2017 6:14 pm  #28

Re: Feeling tearful today

Hey... TorNorth that's definitely a tear. Glad things are getting better.


October 4, 2017 12:15 am  #29

Re: Feeling tearful today

I'm sorry you are/were going through a hard time. Thanks for sharing with us. It must have been strange to be sobbing after so long without, but I'm glad you were able to let it out.


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