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May 2, 2021 9:59 pm  #1

ARO: Finals Stress

(despite the fact that I am stressed by finals right now, I haven't been able to cry about it. please enjoy this ARO.)

It was late on a Sunday afternoon, and I was starting to suspect that I couldn't do this.

I was tired, I was overworked, I was burnt out. I had too many things to do, and while I may have had the time to do them, I certainly didn't have the energy. Assignments were overdue, and finals were coming up. My grades were sliding downward as missing work piled up.

I stared at my computer screen, open to a blank word document. It was an essay, and not a long one. Not even a complicated one. More of a reflection than an actual research paper. I should have been able to do it.

The words wouldn't come. There was nothing on the page, nothing in my head. I couldn't do it.

My eyes grew hot, and my vision blurred with tears. I tried to blink them away—I didn't have time to be crying—but that just sent them spilling down my cheeks, dripping off my chin and onto my shirt, leaving damp spots on the fabric.

Hoping I would stop crying after a moment, I shut my eyes, trying to wait them out. The tears kept coming, though, running over my trembling lips, tracing the column of my neck, soaking into my shirt. I wiped my cheeks with my palms, and only succeeded in smearing the tears, leaving my cheeks damp all the way across.

When I opened my eyes, the blank document remained there, taunting me. I stared at it through my tears. felt my lip curl a moment before I started to sob.

Pushing my glasses up onto my forehead, I covered my face with my hands, sobbing against my palms. Tears dripped through my fingers, running down the backs of my hands. My chest and throat ached. I already felt tired, but I just kept crying.

I pushed my laptop back and folded my arms on the desk, resting my head on my forearms, still crying. Feeling like I had given in to it, I sobbed louder, my shoulders shaking. Hidden by my arms, my lip was still curling, and my face was hot.

I don't know how long I spent sobbing, but when I wore myself out and sat up, I realized that my tears had left a pool on the desk. I mopped it up with a tissue, then blew my nose, not bothering to wipe my tears. I was still crying, and it didn't feel like I was going to stop. I stood up from my desk, dropping the tissues in in the trash can.

If I got in bed, I would definitely fall asleep and waste the rest of the night, so I got a pillow from my bed and brought it back to the desk, hugging it to my chest and letting my tears fall onto it instead of getting my shirt or my desk any more wet.

Keeping one arm wrapped around the pillow, I took my glasses off my head (they would just fog up if I put them back on) and clicked through my tabs, looking for a video assignment I could watch while I waited for the tears to run their course.


May 3, 2021 2:47 pm  #2

Re: ARO: Finals Stress

I'm sorry you are so stressed, I wish I could be there to allow you to vent, take care of your tears, cheer you up, so you could release the stress and have a clear mind to study.


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