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December 20, 2022 4:39 pm  #1


Christmas Theme

This is a "crying story" about a person who has been hurt or traumatized, with the main focus on the crier trying to hide the crying because they are private about pain and/or ashamed of it. It's not great but it ticks a few of my boxes at Ieast. Hopefully some others with get something out of it too. I purposely left it vague so you can mentally fill in your own info. No names or physical descriptions of the characters (a guy and a girl, "him and her"). I intentionally did not specify what the upsetting event is that is the catalyst for the crying so that you can use your own ideas or whatever thing works for you to be the reason for the crying.

The narrative starts with the perspective and thoughts of the crier then shifts to the observer, and then goes slightly back in time to show the thoughts of the crier (that were happening concurrently with the observer).

I have two versions: guy cries and girl cries to fit what different people want but it's the exact same story with the pronouns switched so you don't have to bother reading both. Starting with guy crier, if you prefer girl just skip down halfway. Sorry if the spacing or word wrap is weird, lots of copy/pasting over different programs and devices screwed it up a bit.

GUY CRIER:

Maybe I shouldn't have done this, he thought as he walked into the church. After all, it had only been less than a week since It Happened. This evening he had made a specific effort to be fully sober for the first time in several days, and the sobriety felt odd.

                            I'm doing this for my mom, he psyched himself up, and because I really have run out of excuses to not show up to the church Christmas program my family goes to every year.

                            Following The Incident, he had spent the last several days calling off work "sick",  drinking whatever alcohol he could get his hands on, and alternating between sleep, semi-conscious drunkenness, and mindlessly watching TV. Trying not to think. Trying not to feel. But he could only dodge texts and calls from his mom for so long before he decided it would raise more suspicions if he continued to remain "sick" and had worried loved ones coming around, checking up on him, asking nosy questions. He knew one thing and it was that he was NOT ready to talk about what Happened with anyone.

                            Entering the sanctuary, he quickly spotted his group: His grandma, his mom, his aunt and uncle, and another aunt. Near them were also his cousin, and his cousin's girlfriend, both of whom were the same age as him. The three all considered themselves good friends. There were no free seats near his family so he smiled, waved and took a seat a ways apart from them as the program was already starting.

                            He was somewhat glad he had an excuse to not sit near his group. It felt weird being around people now that his world had changed.

                            Plus they might be able to tell something is off with me, he reasoned. If I can just get through this, they'll have seen I'm here, assume I'm ok then I'll leave.

                            Fifteen minutes in and there were children onstage singing about joy. Of course.

                            He scoffed. That is something I don't think I will ever feel again.

                            A mother in front of him cuddled a small child. A couple off to the left sat smiling, an arm around the other's shoulder. On and on the children sang about joy and happiness and he could start to feel a creeping tightness in his chest and throat. The discomfort he had initially felt about undergoing this experience was beginning to turn into somewhat of a panic attack, coupled with the uninvited memories of the awful pain he had experienced almost a week ago.

                            It was becoming quite clear to him he was not going to be able to take a few breaths and calm down; in fact things were definitely going south. He could feel the lump in his throat growing and his vision beginning to blur from his eyes watering.

                            I have to get out of here NOW before somebody sees me, he realized.

                            He quickly got up and walked out the exit without looking around to see if anyone was paying attention. He darted down the corridor until he came to a restroom at the end of a hall. He thought better of entering the restroom though; before he could approach the area, a man was already heading in, leading two young kids.

                           Passing the restroom area, the hall immediately branched off left and right. The left hall was lit up and to the right was dark. Trying to control his gasping breaths he made the obvious choice and briskly strode down to the end of the dark hallway where two carpeted steps up led to a large doorway entrance to a children's chapel area. The battle to not break down having been fully lost, he sat down on the stairs, hugged his knees, and buried his head in his arms and sobbed as quietly as he could.

                            I knew it, he thought. Thinking I could come here and get through without incident was definitely a mistake. Look at yourself now!

                            He allowed himself a few more moments of crying then took a deep breath and wiped his face with his shirt. Realizing he needed to blow his nose and the shirt was not the right solution for that he got up and glanced into the children's chapel room. There was a teacher's type desk against the closest wall with a box of tissues conveniently placed on top. He grabbed a few and began blowing his nose.

                        -----‐-------------------------------------------------------------------------

                            She was just coming out of the restroom door as she heard it, an odd, echoey, honking sound coming from the dark hallway to the right. Before even stopping to wonder what it could be, she stepped over and peered down into the darkness toward the direction of the sound. She could make out a figure taking a seated position on some steps. The only light was coming  from her end of the hall as well as a few small windows at the other end where the streetlights in the parking lot shone dimly in. But even in the low light it only took another split second before she recognized her boyfriend's cousin; her own good friend was the seated figure at the end of the hallway.
                        Hey, she thought, I'm gonna go say hi real quick.

                        She called his name. He appeared to glance up. She started walking towards him.

                        "Hey!" she called cheerfully. "I didn't get to talk to you before it started since you were late. Typical for you though I guess," she teased.

                        He wasn't saying anything. In the few more steps she had taken since she started down the hall she could now see enough of his facial expression to know he was not mirroring her cheerful demeanor. He looked upset.

                    He looked down at the ground again.  The smile faded from her face as she continued walking closer.
                    Now quite concerned, she stopped only a few feet away from him.

                    "Hey..." she said softly. He looked back up at her. Even in the dim lighting she could definitively tell at this distance: he had been crying. Although his eyes appeared currently dry, they were quite red and his whole face was puffy.
                    Oh no, she thought. Something horrible must have just happened. But what?

                    "What's wrong??" she said, trying not to sound as panicky as she was starting to feel.

                    He held her gaze for only a second before staring blankly at the ground again.

                    "What HAPPENED???" she demanded.

                    At this question he whipped his head back up to look directly at her. She could see the immense pain in his eyes. He opened his mouth slightly, and stared at her as if he was finally trying to form an verbal answer, but no words came.

                    "Uhhh...." was all he was able to moan softly, because in the next instant his entire face crumpled as fresh tears came spilling out. He lowered his head back into his hands as gasping sobs choked out of him.

                    She could only stand there watching him, utterly stunned. In all the times they'd spent together over the years, whether just the two of them or with their group of friends, she had seen him in many states: happy, bored, inebriated, even a little sad. She had never seen him cry before. Now she was stood frozen, too taken aback to speak and almost terrified of whatever horrible thing she was about to find out.
                --------------------------------------------------------------------
[SEVERAL MINUTES EARLIER]
                After blowing his nose, he threw the tissues into a small trash can by the entrance and held on to a few extra tissues as he resumed his position on the step.
                Do I try to go back in? Just leave now?
                He was trying to decide as he sighed and sat back down. He didn't even notice the figure at the other lit end of the hall until he heard a familiar voice call his name. He looked up to see his friend staring at him from a distance.
                She started walking towards him.

                Oh no.

                As she casually strode towards him, she was nonchalantly greeting him as if everything was fine. Currently he realized a countdown had started; from the moment of her seeing him and assuming she could just stroll up and casually bullshit until the moment she would get close enough to see his barely-dried off face and grim demeanor.

                Caught.

                He would not be able to hide anymore. Sitting alone in the darkness with a red swollen face, he would no longer be able to pretend everything was ok. He was trapped and she was getting closer.

                "Hey..."

                Her voice was now much quieter and she was right in front of him. He looked up at her this time to see she wasn't smiling anymore; in fact as his gaze met hers, a look of concern grew on her face.

                "What's wrong??" she asked.

                In the few seconds after she let the question hang in the air, so many thoughts went through his mind.

                What's 'wrong' is that EVERYTHING is wrong. My world has changed. I don't know how to cope with this pain. There's not enough alcohol in the world to drown it completely. It is constantly lurking just under the surface. I finally try to go out and be around others, to TRY to be normal and I end up completely breaking down.

                "What HAPPENED???"

            Her phrasing got his attention as he looked back at her once again.

            Something HAS happened but there is no way I can just tell you about it. Could I?

            She was staring him down, desperate for an answer. She was beginning to look scared.

            I don't think I can tell her what Happened. It's not that I don't trust her; it's just that I don't think I have the ability to even say it out loud. The whole story is too awful, too painful. Can I ever share this with anybody? Is it going to be her? I have to tell her SOMETHING at least. Will she understand?

        She was waiting for answer.

        It just hurts so much.

        He tried to say it out loud but none of the words actually came out; instead he instinctively covered his face with his hands as he felt sobs overtake him once again.

    She could not imagine what awful thing could be prompting this, but decided not to bombard him with any more questions he was currently clearly incapable of answering. She also could no longer stand idly by as a witness to such pain and reached down to do the only thing she could think of.

"Come here," she said as she gently tugged upward on his arm.

He didn't have the energy to fight it. He stood up and reached out to her as they both fell into a tight embrace. He sighed heavily to try to regulate his breathing but as he felt her hands slowly rubbing his back, even more gasping sobs escaped his body. She kept holding him as he clung to her, still crying. She knew this must be something she couldn't really fix, but determined she would continue to hold him as long as he needed her.

THE END

GIRL VERSION:

                            Maybe I shouldn't have done this, she thought as she walked into the church. After all, it had only been less than a week since It Happened. This evening she had made a specific effort to be fully sober for the first time in several days, and the sobriety felt odd.

                            I'm doing this for my mom, she psyched herself up, and because I really have run out of excuses to not show up to the church Christmas program my family goes to every year.

                            Following The Incident, she had spent the last several days calling off work "sick",  drinking whatever alcohol she could get her hands on, and alternating between sleep, semi-conscious drunkenness, and mindlessly watching TV. Trying not to think. Trying not to feel. But she could only dodge texts and calls from her mom for so long before she decided it would raise more suspicions if she continued to remain "sick" and had worried loved ones coming around, checking up on her, asking nosy questions. She knew one thing and it was that she was NOT ready to talk about what Happened with anyone.

                            Entering the sanctuary, she quickly spotted her group: her grandma, her mom, her aunt and uncle, and another aunt. Near them were also her cousin, and her cousin's boyfriend, both of whom were the same age as her. The three all considered themselves good friends. There were no free seats near her family so she smiled, waved and took a seat a ways apart from them as the program was already starting.

                            She was somewhat glad she had an excuse to not sit near her group. It felt weird being around people now that her world had changed.

                            Plus they might be able to tell something is off with me, she reasoned. If I can just get through this, they'll have seen I'm here, assume I'm ok then I'll leave.

                            Fifteen minutes in and there were children onstage singing about joy. Of course.

                            She scoffed. That is something I don't think I will ever feel again.

                            A mother in front of her cuddled a small child. A couple off to the left sat smiling, an arm around the other's shoulder. On and on the children sang about joy and happiness and she could start to feel a creeping tightness in her chest and throat. The discomfort she had initially felt about undergoing this experience was beginning to turn into somewhat of a panic attack, coupled with the uninvited memories of the awful pain she had experienced almost a week ago.

                            It was becoming quite clear to her she was not going to be able to take a few breaths and calm down; in fact things were definitely going south. she could feel the lump in her throat growing and her vision beginning to blur from her eyes watering.

                            I have to get out of here NOW before somebody sees me, she realized.

                            She quickly got up and walked out the exit without looking around to see if anyone was paying attention. She darted down the corridor until she came to a restroom at the end of a hall. she thought better of entering the restroom though; before she could approach the area, a woman was already heading in, leading two young kids.

                           Passing the restroom area, the hall immediately branched off left and right. The left hall was lit up and to the right was dark. Trying to control her gasping breaths she made the obvious choice and briskly strode down to the end of the dark hallway where two carpeted steps up led to a large doorway entrance to a children's chapel area. The battle to not break down having been fully lost, she sat down on the stairs, hugged her knees, and buried her head in her arms and sobbed as quietly as she could.

                            I knew it, she thought. Thinking I could come here and get through without incident was definitely a mistake. Look at yourself now!

                            She allowed herself a few more moments of crying then took a deep breath and wiped her face with her shirt. Realizing she needed to blow her nose and the shirt was not the right solution for that she got up and glanced into the children's chapel room. There was a teacher's type desk against the closest wall with a box of tissues conveniently placed on top. She grabbed a few and began blowing her nose.
                        -----‐-------------------------------------------------------------------------
                            He was just coming out of the restroom door as he heard it, an odd, echoey, honking sound coming from the dark hallway to the right. Before even stopping to wonder what it could be, he stepped over and peered down into the darkness toward the direction of the sound. He could make out a figure taking a seated position on some steps. The only light was coming  from his end of the hall as well as a few small windows at the other end where the streetlights in the parking lot shone dimly in. But even in the low light it only took another split second before he recognized his girlfriend's cousin; his own good friend was the seated figure at the end of the hallway.
                        Hey, he thought, I'm gonna go say hi real quick.

                        He called her name. she appeared to glance up. He started walking towards her.

                        "Hey!" he called cheerfully. "I didn't get to talk to you before it started since you were late. Typical for you though I guess," he teased.

                        She wasn't saying anything. In the few more steps he had taken since he started down the hall he could now see enough of her facial expression to know she was not mirroring his cheerful demeanor. She looked upset.

                    She looked down at the ground again.  The smile faded from his face as he continued walking closer.

                    Now quite concerned, he stopped only a few feet away from her.

                    "Hey..." he said softly. She looked back up at him. Even in the dim lighting he could definitively tell at this distance: she had been crying. Although her eyes appeared currently dry, they were quite red and her whole face was puffy.

                    Oh no, he thought. Something horrible must have just happened. But what?

                    "What's wrong??" he said, trying not to sound as panicky as he was starting to feel.

                    She held his gaze for only a second before staring blankly at the ground again.

                    "What HAPPENED???" he demanded.

                    At this question she whipped her head back up to look directly at him. He could see the immense pain in her eyes. She opened her mouth slightly, and stared at him as if she was finally trying to form an verbal answer, but no words came.

                    "Uhhh...." was all she was able to moan softly, because in the next instant her entire face crumpled as fresh tears came spilling out. She lowered her head back into her hands as gasping sobs choked out of her.

                    He could only stand there watching her, utterly stunned. In all the times they'd spent together over the years, whether just the two of them or with their group of friends, he had seen her in many states: happy, bored, inebriated, even a little sad. He had never seen her cry before. Now he was stood frozen, too taken aback to speak and almost terrified of whatever horrible thing he was about to find out.
                --------------------------------------------------------------------
[SEVERAL MINUTES EARLIER]
                After blowing her nose, she threw the tissues into a small trash can by the entrance and held on to a few extra tissues as she resumed her position on the step.

                Do I try to go back in? Just leave now?

                She was trying to decide as she sighed and sat back down. She didn't even notice the figure at the other lit end of the hall until she heard a familiar voice call her name. She looked up to see her friend staring at her from a distance.

                He started walking towards her.

                Oh no.

                As he casually strode towards her, he was nonchalantly greeting her as if everything was fine. Currently she realized a countdown had started; from the moment of him seeing her and assuming he could just stroll up and casually bullshit until the moment he would get close enough to see her barely-dried off face and grim demeanor.

                Caught.

                She would not be able to hide anymore. Sitting alone in the darkness with a red swollen face, she would no longer be able to pretend everything was ok. She was trapped and he was getting closer.

                "Hey..."

                His voice was now much quieter and he was right in front of her. She looked up at him this time to see he wasn't smiling anymore; in fact as her gaze met his, a look of concern grew on his face.

                "What's wrong??" he asked.

                In the few seconds after he let the question hang in the air, so many thoughts went through her mind.

                What's 'wrong' is that EVERYTHING is wrong. My world has changed. I don't know how to cope with this pain. There's not enough alcohol in the world to drown it completely. It is constantly lurking just under the surface. I finally try to go out and be around others, to TRY to be normal and I end up completely breaking down.

                "What HAPPENED???"

            His phrasing got her attention as she looked back at him once again.

            Something HAS happened but there is no way I can just tell you about it. Could I?

            He was staring her down, desperate for an answer. He was beginning to look scared.

            I don't think I can tell him what Happened. It's not that I don't trust him; it's just that I don't think I have the ability to even say it out loud. The whole story is too awful, too painful. Can I ever share this with anybody? Is it going to be him? I have to tell him SOMETHING at least. Will he understand?

        He was waiting for answer.

        It just hurts so much.

        She tried to say it out loud but none of the words actually came out; instead she instinctively covered her face with her hands as she felt sobs overtake her once again.

    He could not imagine what awful thing could be prompting this, but decided not to bombard her with any more questions she was currently clearly incapable of answering. He also could no longer stand idly by as a witness to such pain and reached down to do the only thing he could think of.

"Come here," he said as he gently tugged upward on her arm.

She didn't have the energy to fight it. She stood up and reached out to him as they both fell into a tight embrace. She sighed heavily to try to regulate her breathing but as she felt his hands slowly rubbing her back, even more gasping sobs escaped her body. He kept holding her as she clung to him, still crying. He knew this must be something he couldn't really fix, but determined he would continue to hold her as long as she needed him.




 

Last edited by Ella (December 20, 2022 4:40 pm)

 

December 21, 2022 4:32 am  #2


Re: Christmas Theme

I really liked the fact that this was so vague. Every time I read it I had a new idea about what was bothering him. This was amazing!

Last edited by Princess_Lucky1731 (December 22, 2022 4:58 am)

 

December 22, 2022 8:12 pm  #3


Re: Christmas Theme

Princess_Lucky1731 wrote:

I really liked the fact that this was so vague. Every time I read it I had a new idea about what was bothering him. This was amazing!

Oh good I'm so glad! Yes, that was my hope that it would work with many different topics.

     Thread Starter
 

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