You are not logged in. Would you like to login or register?



February 5, 2024 4:44 am  #1


The Last Time You Cried

Hello friends,
Disclaimer: I'm a bit on the intoxicated side tonight. I hope that you wont take my words for drunken ramblings. I wohld like to share something with you, lovely strangers. We all connect on this one, strange, emotional thing, and in this moment, I can't think of anyone else I would like to connect with. 

Had a song stuck in my head- Nearer My God to Thee, the instrumental version from The Newton Brothers. I'm not a religious person. It's from midnight mass. Good show, btw. Anyway.

I have felt awfully lonely. It's my own design; protective and restorative, isolation from any form of socialization after coming to grips with a trauma a year and a half ago. I've been noticing at work just how much I needed a hug when others hugged me. My head would fall to their shoulder, my arms all tight around their waist. I realized tonight, I needed to cry. Not like, sob-cry but cry. So I listened to that song and held myself in a hug and cried against my chest.  It felt good. I didn't feel as lonely as I did the moment before. Each tear was for something new: how isolated I feel, how tired, in pain; how deeply I worry I will lose the people I love; how quickly my time is passing- so early to be getting older so fast. From the corners of my eyes in perfect warm trails down my cheeks, down through my neck, connecting at my chest. I feel so deeply calm now.

I know that this is something, deep down or perhaps not so deep down, that we connect to- crying. For pleasure or perhaps even just for emotional connection. In this moment of emotional intamacy I share not simply for satisfaction- the awareness that some random stranger you've never met, never seen, don't know the face or the voice of has cried just so you can picture it- I know that's part of it. We want to see, to picture, to connect. We want to feel close to something. Or at least I do. In this moment, I would like to feel less than alone.

In that vein, I ask you: when was the last time you cried? Melted into someone's arms, even if they were your own? Connected to a show or a movie or a scene, and found yourself tearing up in the reflection? I used to never cry. Now I do all the time. I love to cry. I love to feel. So much better than being numb. I even search out movies, books, shows, that will make me hurt, feel, cry. When was the last time you did?

Last edited by ComfortCasanovette (February 5, 2024 4:47 am)


What am I if not a woman who likes hot men who cry a lot
 

February 5, 2024 5:56 am  #2


Re: The Last Time You Cried

Hugs and best of wishes for you. Nice way you describe your tears. I have to admit I haven’t cried this year, and last year nothing spectacular, I think I teared up during a religious meditation, alone in my car, no bystanders, no cars or pedestrians nearby. A single lukewarm tear from the middle of each cheek, evaporating before reaching my chin. And that was it.

 

February 5, 2024 2:26 pm  #3


Re: The Last Time You Cried

I like this post, very dreamlike.

In December-January I almost went two months without crying! And then my no-cry streak broke on January 29th (sobbed) and then cried quietly on January 30 and February 3rd.

 

February 5, 2024 4:49 pm  #4


Re: The Last Time You Cried

I couldn't give an exact date and time, but I tear up a lot more these days than I used to. Perpetual depression will do that to you.

I have no idea what show you're referring to, but I love "Nearer My God To Thee," particularly in *Horbury* melody. Makes me think of *A Night to Remember.*


"Bless me now with your fierce tears..."
 

February 5, 2024 9:54 pm  #5


Re: The Last Time You Cried

The last time I cried it was very awkward.I just lay in my bed listening to sad music. I'm used to it, it's like this almost every night.

 

February 6, 2024 9:58 pm  #6


Re: The Last Time You Cried

I last cried 3 days ago - my wife recently suffered a bereavement and she was thinking and talking about the person. As she talked her eyes filled with tears several times without quite getting to the point where they would spill down her cheeks. However, she said something that triggered her emotions in a big way and tears flowed into her eyes and quickly spilled over and rolled down her cheeks. I gently wiped her tears from her cheek as she spoke very emotionally about the person in a very emotional and wobbly voice.

I was also very close to this person so the sight of my wife crying beautiful tears and saying very emotional words got to me and I felt my eyes sting with tears. I'm totally comfortable crying in front of my wife so I didn't make any attempt to hold my emotions back and I felt my eyes fill with tears and my vision blur. Moments later I felt tears leave my eyes and roll down my cheeks.

We were both crying for about 5 to 10 minutes - multiple tears rolling down our cheeks. We both wiped each others tears periodically and even kissed each others tears a couple of times. A very sad but also nice moment with my wife.

 

February 6, 2024 10:28 pm  #7


Re: The Last Time You Cried

tearhunter wrote:

I last cried 3 days ago - my wife recently suffered a bereavement and she was thinking and talking about the person. As she talked her eyes filled with tears several times without quite getting to the point where they would spill down her cheeks. However, she said something that triggered her emotions in a big way and tears flowed into her eyes and quickly spilled over and rolled down her cheeks. I gently wiped her tears from her cheek as she spoke very emotionally about the person in a very emotional and wobbly voice.

I was also very close to this person so the sight of my wife crying beautiful tears and saying very emotional words got to me and I felt my eyes sting with tears. I'm totally comfortable crying in front of my wife so I didn't make any attempt to hold my emotions back and I felt my eyes fill with tears and my vision blur. Moments later I felt tears leave my eyes and roll down my cheeks.

We were both crying for about 5 to 10 minutes - multiple tears rolling down our cheeks. We both wiped each others tears periodically and even kissed each others tears a couple of times. A very sad but also nice moment with my wife.

Beautiful as usual, I really missed your obs. I love the way you and your wife wipe and kiss each other's tears.

 

February 6, 2024 11:28 pm  #8


Re: The Last Time You Cried

Thank you for this post, it made me feel warm and not so lonely ^_^
I cried about three weeks ago at the cinema, it was Wonka with Timothee Chalamet. I don’t cry often, but if I do, it’s during therapy sessions or while watching movies:_)

 

February 13, 2024 9:13 pm  #9


Re: The Last Time You Cried

Good evening! I hope that you are well 

I can empathize with you in a way, when you talk about loneliness, because I feel lonely and confused too; I've never felt lonelier, and I don't understand why as I'm always surrounded by so many people every day.

I thought I'd say that the last time I really cried until my head hurt was yesterday, at work, when I asked one of my coworker if I was good enough, but it is right now as I am replying to your post. I feel that the combination of too many things is weighing me down, creating an explosive pressure that I am no longer able to maintain or control.

I am so afraid of being a burden and sharing my pain with others that I've ended up refraining and preventing myself from accepting and receiving genuine comfort from them; I am so afraid of bothering people through my own melancholy and fragility that I refuse to let anyone hold me or wipe my tears like I used to when I was younger. Despite how much I need it and want it.
I want to feel safe in someone's arms, I want to cry, my head wrapped against their chest, until I feel too tired to move or cry anymore.
I want to be put to sleep after crying for hours, just like when I was a child.
Realizing that I became so cruel toward myself to even allow the smallest kindness from others pains me. 
If I can reach out and touch others to comfort and reassure them, why can't I allow myself the same sympathy in return?

I thought that at least I still had my tears, that I still could allow myself to cry to relieve some of my concerns and sadness, but the tears often end up being too much and even worse; as they used to be a way to purify and dispel my pain, they slowly grow into sharp and derisive thorns. My eyes are dry and swollen and my head tingles with each new heartbeat– now I feel like my tears and crying, which used to be my escape and my comfort, have been stolen from me.

But thankfully, I do find comfort by crying through Music and Literature, and especially through singing and performing art. I can find the purification I seek and crave in tears, it has a very sweet and strange feeling on my emotions and it makes me feel alive. 
Whether it's from covers or song I write or improvise when listening to instrumentals, or whether it's from giving life to another person through performing art or improvising a scene, it helps me to give a second and more comforting voice to my crying. It even feels like being held and consoled by a greater entity, and I do love this feeling and communion.


« A mon chagrin, il fallait, cette nuit-là, les orgues de la pluie dans les caniveaux et les tonneaux. » — Violette Leduc, La Bâtarde.

my avatar is from a set called "Blessed are those who weep" from the photographer Laura Makabreku
 

February 13, 2024 10:02 pm  #10


Re: The Last Time You Cried

Lavande wrote:

I am so afraid of bothering people through my own melancholy and fragility that I refuse to let anyone hold me or wipe my tears like I used to when I was younger. Despite how much I need it and want it.
I want to feel safe in someone's arms, I want to cry, my head wrapped against their chest, until I feel too tired to move or cry anymore.
I want to be put to sleep after crying for hours, just like when I was a child.

That's a beautiful description. It's often so much harder to ask someone to be there for us than to be there for others.

I've frequently wished the same thing, but from the other side - to have someone cry herself to sleep in my arms because she needed a safe place to weep for hours and chose me. It's a beautiful thought.


"Bless me now with your fierce tears..."
 

Board footera

 

Powered by Boardhost. Create a Free Forum