I like this post, very dreamlike.

In December-January I almost went two months without crying! And then my no-cry streak broke on January 29th (sobbed) and then cried quietly on January 30 and February 3rd.

The last time I cried it was very awkward.I just lay in my bed listening to sad music. I'm used to it, it's like this almost every night.

tearhunter wrote:

I last cried 3 days ago - my wife recently suffered a bereavement and she was thinking and talking about the person. As she talked her eyes filled with tears several times without quite getting to the point where they would spill down her cheeks. However, she said something that triggered her emotions in a big way and tears flowed into her eyes and quickly spilled over and rolled down her cheeks. I gently wiped her tears from her cheek as she spoke very emotionally about the person in a very emotional and wobbly voice.

I was also very close to this person so the sight of my wife crying beautiful tears and saying very emotional words got to me and I felt my eyes sting with tears. I'm totally comfortable crying in front of my wife so I didn't make any attempt to hold my emotions back and I felt my eyes fill with tears and my vision blur. Moments later I felt tears leave my eyes and roll down my cheeks.

We were both crying for about 5 to 10 minutes - multiple tears rolling down our cheeks. We both wiped each others tears periodically and even kissed each others tears a couple of times. A very sad but also nice moment with my wife.

Beautiful as usual, I really missed your obs. I love the way you and your wife wipe and kiss each other's tears.

Good evening! I hope that you are well 

I can empathize with you in a way, when you talk about loneliness, because I feel lonely and confused too; I've never felt lonelier, and I don't understand why as I'm always surrounded by so many people every day.

I thought I'd say that the last time I really cried until my head hurt was yesterday, at work, when I asked one of my coworker if I was good enough, but it is right now as I am replying to your post. I feel that the combination of too many things is weighing me down, creating an explosive pressure that I am no longer able to maintain or control.

I am so afraid of being a burden and sharing my pain with others that I've ended up refraining and preventing myself from accepting and receiving genuine comfort from them; I am so afraid of bothering people through my own melancholy and fragility that I refuse to let anyone hold me or wipe my tears like I used to when I was younger. Despite how much I need it and want it.
I want to feel safe in someone's arms, I want to cry, my head wrapped against their chest, until I feel too tired to move or cry anymore.
I want to be put to sleep after crying for hours, just like when I was a child.
Realizing that I became so cruel toward myself to even allow the smallest kindness from others pains me. 
If I can reach out and touch others to comfort and reassure them, why can't I allow myself the same sympathy in return?

I thought that at least I still had my tears, that I still could allow myself to cry to relieve some of my concerns and sadness, but the tears often end up being too much and even worse; as they used to be a way to purify and dispel my pain, they slowly grow into sharp and derisive thorns. My eyes are dry and swollen and my head tingles with each new heartbeat– now I feel like my tears and crying, which used to be my escape and my comfort, have been stolen from me.

But thankfully, I do find comfort by crying through Music and Literature, and especially through singing and performing art. I can find the purification I seek and crave in tears, it has a very sweet and strange feeling on my emotions and it makes me feel alive. 
Whether it's from covers or song I write or improvise when listening to instrumentals, or whether it's from giving life to another person through performing art or improvising a scene, it helps me to give a second and more comforting voice to my crying. It even feels like being held and consoled by a greater entity, and I do love this feeling and communion.