I will preface this post by saying that I get very, very few male observations.  Probably averages one every few years and they are usually pretty lame when they do happen.  Like a father-of-the-groom briefly getting a little choked up at a wedding and he isn't even attractive.  That kind of thing. 

Well, I have a male friend (who I don't find attractive, but doesn't matter) who struggles with serious ongoing issues.  Whenever I would see this friend, he would never cry.  He would talk about his issues but there was never so much as a waver in his voice or a sad look in his eyes when he would talk about them -- nothing!  

Anyway, as this is a public forum, I won't go into detail, but we were alone somewhere talking on a particularly hard day for him.  Anyway, things were like normal for a while and we were talking and then BOOM, suddenly the right switch flipped... one minute he was fine and the next minute he crumbled!  His face fell, he looked to the floor, he said a few words in a high pitched, incoherent voice, and then started SOBBING heavily!  It seemed to come so fast!  There was no real build-up as I had always imagined there would be and the subject matter did not seem particularly awful to me of all the things he could have cried about that day (though I can see now why it triggered him).  

So at that point I was sort of shocked and totally silent and thought, OK, this is really happening.  I'm really getting a crying observation.  Wow, he is crying so HARD.  What do I do?  I can't just stand here and watch, it's too awkward not to do something!  So I put my arms around him and squeezed him and we hugged while he continued sobbing.  I'm talking loud, pitchy sobs and gaspy breaths.  Continuously.  It was a full meltdown.   

I think it probably only lasted about a minute from beginning to end, and just as quickly as it had started, it had ended!  He broke the hug, said a few more words in a high pitched voice that were hard to make out, started wiping his eyes, and soon enough, things seemed to go back to normal.  The only tears I saw of his were the ones smeared directly underneath his eyes at the end of the observation.  At no point did I see his eyes fill with tears or tears falling down.  I think it's quite possible he was wiping during our hug.  That would make sense, because otherwise, you'd think there would have been tracks down his cheeks where tears had fallen.  Or maybe they stay in your eyes longer when your eyes are closed and when you open them they're just a big mess underneath your eyes.  I don't know.

Anyway, so after that, we continued to talk and the conversation just sort of moved on like nothing had happened!  That was it!  The shortness of the build-up and wind-down phases was a bit odd for me... maybe this is what a normal meltdown looks like (I wouldn't know... I really have nothing to compare it to!!), but for me, it felt surreal.  Maybe he just needed a release and was comfortable with his own crying and knew how to gather himself together and move on from it.  I don't know.  It almost reminds me of how little children cry like the world is ending and then bounce back quickly when something new suddenly catches their attention.  But not quite that insane, I guess.  I probably just felt a bit ripped off.  I wish I had been able to look at the tears under his eyes a bit longer before he wiped them away. 

I've never held a man who cried that hard before, so it was one for the record books for sure!!!!!  Wow!!!!!

Comforting-wise, all I could think to do was stroke his back and after what I felt was too long a silence, I tried a couple of cliche comforting phrases, but I'll admit, they felt fake and didn't really come easy to me and I felt a bit awkward the whole time it was happening.  I might have done better and gotten more genuinely in the moment had he built up his emotions a bit slower and given me time to catch up to where he was.

This should have been a dream observation for me -- an almost perfect situation and one I have fantasized about for years.  So I am confused and sad wondering why I didn't get more excited about it!!!  Can anyone relate??

I think having a crying fetish interfered somewhat, because while he was busy crying, I was busy thinking about how lucky I was that I was having a crying observation!  I also felt sort of a bit of natural embarrassment for him, as if I were witnessing something that was normally private.  Which is too bad, because I didn't mean to feel awkward.  I obviously am more than OK with guys letting it out and WANT them to cry.  But I instinctively averted my eyes when it first started to happen and felt shy, and sometimes those first few moments before the floodgates open are the best ones!!  I hope that next time I get a male obs I can train myself to not look away even for a moment!!!

So was it what I always thought it would be?  Nope, not at all!!!  I can't believe how unremarkable it seemed at the time, and even now.  I mean, forget being literally turned on (I had told myself that if he did cry I shouldn't allow myself to get turned on), but my heart wasn't even pounding and my knees didn't even get weak!  It's like I was in a movie -- I knew it was a scene I had always wanted to act out in real life.  But I wasn't really "there", I guess.  I wasn't really present.  Maybe because we aren't really that close?  Maybe because I'm just totally weird?  

So in that way, it was disappointing.  I'm just being honest.  Not ungrateful in the least!!!!!  Just honest.  

For all those people out there who would LOVE to hold a crying man (hey, I was one of those and still am!!!!), well, when it happens to you, depending on the circumstances, it might not be the moment you always dreamed about.  I guess there must be more factors at play for me with regard to this fetish than simply holding a crying man.  Who knew!  I will admit, I felt pretty tired and unfocused at the time.  Totally there for him and hoping he would cry at some point, but kept my expectations extremely low (I had to -- had been let down too many times!!!).  I didn't cry with him.  Had I felt more emotional and empathetic, I think it could have gone a lot differently.  

I don't know if that's it, though.  Maybe it's that some of the big elements I love about crying were missing -- like seeing tears pool in vulnerable-looking eyes and roll down the cheeks.  Just thinking about that now is starting to turn me on, so I definitely still have SOME kind of crying fetish!!!  But I thought for me it was mostly about the vulnerability.  Could it be that his vulnerability score went down because he was too willing to cry in front of me?  Would it have been sexier if he had fought a bit harder to hold back the tears or apologized for crying?  Well, in some ways yes, but in some ways no, because I used to have a guy cry on purpose for me many years ago and his willingness to become vulnerable did not hinder my fetishy feelings about his crying... in fact, I was excited before he'd even get started... the anticipation was a turn-on and so were the tears!!!  

So I don't know quite what to make of it.  I guess it doesn't seem exciting enough for what the situation actually was, because on paper, it sounds amazing.  Although... I didn't get into sobbing fantasies until more recent years.  My original fetish included little breathy gasps but not the kind of pitchy sobs where you can instantly tell whether it's a man or a woman crying.  In fact, I used to find those pretty unsettling!  So maybe I much prefer a less intense crying obs.  He sort of went into hysterics for that moment.  Maybe he freaked me out a little.  Aw, it's possible.  Although I can get turned on a bit from thinking about him crying now, after the fact.  But still not to the degree I would have thought.

Well, thanks for letting me think this one out!!  As I said, I am super grateful for the observation, definitely!!!  If anyone has any insights into my situation or similar stories they want to share about fetish let-downs, let me know!  It's nice to have a place to talk about this stuff!

Last edited by Diana (September 8, 2016 8:06 am)