Crying Lovers / how do you talk about your dacryphilia to non-dacs?

**Posted by PhoebeOnThePhone** November 17, 2020 6:19 pm

When I talk about it, I have difficulty expressing how it makes me feel, and in turn that makes me feel like I'm coming across like I get off on seeing/hearing a man cry. And the more I try to explain that it's emotional and not erotic attraction, the more I feel like I sound like I'm just protesting too much.
So I tend to feel like the First Rule of Dac Club is you don't talk about Dac Club. (But it's also hard for me to keep my mouth shut sometimes.)

What about y'all? Are you open about it? Are you guarded about it? How do you talk about it? Esp in front of someone who has or may cry in front of you?

**Posted by PhoebeOnThePhone** November 17, 2020 11:52 pm

Cryo, that's interesting--they were turned on by their own crying?

**Posted by purposehans** November 18, 2020 2:08 am

I'm really guarded about it, I pretty much only tell partners and only after we've been seeing each other a while. I think there's only a couple friends I haven't slept with who know.

Usually I tell them that I'm attracted to crying, but emphasize that for me it's the opposite of a BDSM crying fetish. That for me it's related to the desire to comfort and care for the person who is crying. Usually I also describe it as a combination of being attracted to the physical act of crying and tears with my broader sexuality of being into taking care of someone who is open and vulnerable.

Last edited by purposehans (November 18, 2020 2:12 am)

**Posted by truffle** November 18, 2020 2:48 am

When I was younger I used to be really careful about hiding it. Then I realized that sharing it is the best way to get what I want from a romantic partner.

I'm in the early stages of a romantic relationship with a guy right now (who I've posted about before a couple of times) and I've tried being subtle about it but he's not taking the hint, so my plan is to literally sit down with him and tell him about it clearly. We're all adults and life is too short to beat around the bush with stuff like this. In my opinion of course.

**Posted by PhoebeOnThePhone** November 18, 2020 7:53 pm

Purposehans, I think that's a great way to describe it!

**Posted by purposehans** November 19, 2020 2:23 am

truffle wrote:
When I was younger I used to be really careful about hiding it. Then I realized that sharing it is the best way to get what I want from a romantic partner.

I'm in the early stages of a romantic relationship with a guy right now (who I've posted about before a couple of times) and I've tried being subtle about it but he's not taking the hint, so my plan is to literally sit down with him and tell him about it clearly. We're all adults and life is too short to beat around the bush with stuff like this. In my opinion of course.

That is true! Once I tell a partner, and they're someone who is comfortable making themselves cry, it usually leads to them wanting to plan watching a sad movie with me.

**Posted by Amans lacrimae** November 19, 2020 2:58 pm

I don't talk about my dacryphilia specifically, I may talk about tears or crying, sometimes people surprise me with their answers or physical response, but still, I am extremely reserved with the subject, not even my wife knows about it.

**Posted by Bartlebycs** November 19, 2020 4:30 pm

I don't say I'm turned on by tears or crying. That makes it sound too creepy. I'll usually just say something like "I find that I'm a good shoulder to cry on" or, "I have a thing for helping people in distress."

I prefer using subtlety and plausible deniability. Being blunt got me in trouble once. So I learned the hard way.

**Posted by Princess_Lucky1731** November 19, 2020 7:46 pm

Amans lacrimae wrote:
I don't talk about my dacryphilia specifically, I may talk about tears or crying, sometimes people surprise me with their answers or physical response, but still, I am extremely reserved with the subject, not even my wife knows about it.

I'm exactly the same way. I may mention things about tears or crying in passing but not to the point that I talk about dacryphilia I'm afraid how people will react. I don't even discuss it with my husband.

Last edited by Princess_Lucky1731 (November 19, 2020 7:47 pm)

**Posted by repressedjudie** November 19, 2020 10:50 pm

I don't talk about my dacryphilia generally. I'm nervous about how people might see me because of it. I'm also not big in the dating scene at the moment, so that doesn't help. My very close (online) friend knows about it, but that's mostly because we sort of discovered our kinks together, and that's one we share.