Thanks, folks.  Been an awful long time since I've bothered to log in here...I thought I had replied to your posts, but apparently not!  I did read all your responses a while back, and I really appreciate the comments.    Makes me feel good to know that other people actually enjoyed this long post.

psychic_girl, your comment was especially beautiful.  Loved how you phrased it - "a healer and a blessing" and I totally agree.  Of course, he's very much a normal person, with quirks and flaws like the rest of us.  But yes, T is very unique and my life is better for knowing him.

tearhunter, I'm pleased to hear this little story moved you.  A few months after this incident it's actually a very fond memory of mine.  Of course I'm still working on many of the same issues, but with T's help I think I've reached some level of acceptance of those problems.  And T's response helped prove that he is a really good friend, and having supportive friends helps make anything seem less daunting.

In response to your questions - at the time I think I was embarrased on some level, but for the most part I was too tired and upset to care that T was seeing me cry.  Actually, I had a feeling for a few days before that something or someone was going to set me off and make me cry.  I was sort of hoping that it WOULD be T, on some level, because he's such a caring person and I knew he'd probably give me some...not advice, exactly, but a specific type of support that only he can offer and my semi-parental figure/friend, if that makes any sense.  So in a way it was kind of nice to have that release and have him be a witness to it.  The next time I ran into him at work, a few days later, I did feel some slight embarassment, realizing that the last time he'd seen me, I was in tears, but I got over it quickly.  We didn't actually say much to each other - it was a busy day at the clinic and we didn't have a chance to chat much,

1. Would you prefer to cry in front of some of the same sex or opposite sex? (Let me know if you are male or female)

In general, I would strongly prefer female.  I tend to worry that a man might think I was being an "overly emotional woman" or whatever.  Even though I don't think most men would actually think that, and when I've started crying in front of men, they've generally reacted with as much kindness and understanding (if not more) than women, it's kind of a fear of mine.  I think it may have something to do with being heterosexual and not wanting to turn a member of the opposite sex off!  I would care less about crying in front of a man if he was significantly older than me/completely unattractive to me.  However, if it's someone I've known for years and trust deeply - gender doesn't matter to me one jot. 

2. Would you be embarrased about your crying, even though you feel your emotions are justified? Would you apologise for crying? Attempt to flee the situation?

Would probably be mildly embarrassed about crying.  I've seen a counselor (female) for about eight years, and I still occasionally get embarrassed about crying in front of her!  I would not apologize or flee, however.

3. Would you allow yourself to cry or would you fight to stop yourself as soon as possible?

Would probably allow myself to cry, as sometimes I find that trying to stop makes the problem worse!

4. How would you react to any tears or other crying characteristics (i.e. wobbly voice, bulging lip etc)?

Wobbly voice while crying bothers me - if it was easier to talk and cry at the same time, I would barely mind crying during a counseling session at all.  I do try to contol the wobbly voice as best I can.  I also get a runny nose when I cry easily, which is frustrating under certain circumstances. There's usually tissues available during counseling, so it's not a major problem, but I will have to pause to blow my nose every so often.  I do tend to wipe/brush tears away pretty

woundedpuppy wrote:

Well, turns out I couldn't help but cry myself several times during Les Miserables! (movie)

Suffice it to say, plenty of good acting/crying, both male and female.

Wish I'd been back here sooner to comment on this!  Took me a week or two to see Les Mis (I wanted to see it on Christmas Day, but fate kept intervening lol) but I adored it.  You've nothing to be ashamed of, woundedpuppy, it's such an emotional story!  I didn't cry myself while watching it, which surprised me as I cry somewhat often during sad films, but the (female) friend I saw it with teared up at least once at the end.  Funny how I never realized what a depressing story it could be until I saw the film version - the visual details of the poverty and sickness really drove that point home further than the stage play does IMO.  Still, it has moments of hope and beauty and I loved it.

Relating to this, I do have a (not very detailed) obs to share about my Les Mis experience.  If I don't remember to post it later tonight, someone remind me to share it later.

woundedpuppy wrote:

I'm not into the nose blowing on my sleeve, but the nose wiping could possibly be cute as a fantasy concept.  I can't picture enjoying it in real life (not even with my husband, to be honest), but I can envision it working in a fanfic scene if during the scene the guy was apologetic, helpless, embarrassed, grateful... all the usual emotions I want to see.  Guess it could make him seem more vulnerable and it's kinda sweet, plus it emphasizes the comforting.

I guess I'm not into the idea in real life because I have an aversion to the sight and feel of snot!  Not that I'm extreme about it - and with my sneeze fetish, I love the sounds of sniffling and stuffiness - but I guess I just prefer that snot be heard and not seen, and not on me nor my clothes.   I really think I'd make my hubby use his own sleeve (poor guy, aww.... that sounds almost mean). ;)  But I LOVE fics - especially imaginative ones - and can go way outside my comfort zone to appreciate them!  I don't think I've seen a scene like that before, so I would certainly find it an interesting read, possibly sexy depending how it was done, and I don't think I would gross out in a fic (unless the details of the snot itself were really graphic, which I suppose only some kind of snot fetishist would bother to write!)

Well, generally I'm not big on seeing or feeling snot, either...I guess this is one of the rare few circumstances where I'd be willing to risk it.  Still, it's an intimate gesture to me, and I'd probably reserve this action for a significant other only...it would feel just plain weird to offer a friend a sleeve, I think, for me personally at least (at least for nose-blowing...wiping away tears would be okay).  And I don't have kids; I could see myself offering to do this for my own kids, but obviously I wouldn't get a kick out of it fetish-wise at all!

I'm glad a few people are into the idea of a fic.  I'm busy at the moment, writing some other stuff for NaNoWriMo (Nati

I saw that video earlier in the week...watched it about 10 times.  I felt the same way as you, caircair.   

I do feel the need to point out - that article is incorrect.  This is not actually the first time President Obama has been seen crying in public, nor was it the first time he was seen crying since he was elected back in 2008.  (I actually just saw a video about this, though the crying clips were nothing to get too excited over.)  Obama cried just the day before he was elected in 2008, over the fact that his grandmother had just died.  Likewise, he was seen getting all passionate and teary eyed during a speech, I believe, just the day before winning the 2012 election.  He was also seen crying at a funeral once during his presidency that he and many others from Washington attended (I do not remember who for, however...I think it was a civil rights activist of some sort). 

However, from the clips and pictures I've seen, Obama is not an "obvious" crier in general and this is really his strongest public display of emotion to date.  He tends to let maybe a tear or two drip out and brushes it away very casually.  His voice will occasionally get the tiniest bit hoarse if he is speaking at the time, but he doesn't really struggle for composure, get a flushed or scrunched face, or get the sniffles the way some people do.  Contrast that to the way most of us cry, and it's no surprise his previous tears haven't drawn quite as much notice.