The cherry on the pie would have been if the girl had been comforted and have her tears wiped. Beautifully written.

Very beautiful, sensitive and bonding.

[a/n: i love writing these.]

hey yall! 

good news, i finally quit my awful job. i'm working part time at the campus coffee shop now. it doesn't pay as well and i don't get as many hours but my coworkers are way nicer and it doesn't make me cry. i still cry every couple days, but i don't have to hide in the bathroom to sob during my shift or cry in the car because of how badly i don't want to be at work.

i've been crying generally less overall, but i've still had some good self-obs to document, and some obs from my friends and on campus. i'll compile them all together here.

first, me: i didn't do very well on the first test for one of my classes this semester and i cried about it probably more than i should have. i think it was just an excuse to break down about the new semester stress. i managed to hold it together until i got home after class, and then i just sat on the couch and the tears immediately started. they rolled down my cheeks in a pair of steady streams, one from each eye, and then another track started on each side, so four total, dripping off my jaw and onto my shirt and my lap. i just sat there and sobbed quietly for a while, letting myself cry, and then i felt something sort of... give in my chest, is the only way i can describe it, and i started crying harder. i had to bury my face in a pillow to muffle the sobs for how loud they were. i was almost wailing. and the pillow got soaked with tears, as you can probably guess. i finally calmed down and managed to get some homework done but i was weepy for the rest of the night, i kept tearing up and occasionally when i would blink a tear would fall. i cried in bed a little too, mostly just tears and some soft sobs, and i felt much better the next morning.

the other notable time i cried was a couple weeks ago, it was just after i had gotten the position at the campus coffee shop and quit my awful job, i guess the relief just really got to me, because i couldn't stop crying on the drive home. i've always been a pretty tearful crier but this was extra intense, i was sitting at a red light a few blocks away from my former job and the tears were just pouring down my face, dripping onto the seatbelt and into my lap. i couldn't keep track of individual streams of tears, it felt like my whole face was soaked. it didn't go on for very long, only the drive home and for a couple minutes afterwards, but i remembered it because of how many tears there were, it was like i had cried for much longer.

then there's my friend from campus that i mentioned a couple times. still going through a tough time, though it's getting better, still crying a lot. we were working on homework together in the common area of her dorm recently and she was really tearful the whole time. she told me over text that she'd been crying all morning, and when i got there her eyes were still full of tears. we were at it for a few hours and she cried on and off, sometimes putting her head down and sobbing and sometimes just dripping tears or holding a tissue under her eyes so she didn't drip any tears on her laptop or the paper she was writing on. the tissues would get completely soaked with tears, it was kind of impressive. we don't have any classes together, but sometimes she texts me about how she's doing and a lot of times she mentions crying in class. 

another time she and i were hanging out at my place and she was crying while we talked, and i reached over and wiped away her tears. that seemed to make her feel a little better, so later when she had to make a tough phone call, i sat beside her and held her hand and with the other i wiped the tears from her cheek as they fell. the tears fell unchecked on the other side, though, and they soaked into the collar of her sweater and made a big damp patch by the time she was done. after the phone call i hugged her and she sobbed in my arms for a while. i cried a little too.

my best friend has been going through it too, boy trouble i won't get into here, but the last time we had one of our video calls she was crying the whole time, just sobbing and sobbing about the relationship issues she's been having. she was lying down with her head on a pillow, it already had some tearstains from her crying on it but it got completely soaked while we talked. we stayed on the phone for a few hours and i don't think she stopped crying once. she's even more of a crier than me, if you can believe that. when we were in high school together she cried multiple times a day, and she probably still does.

i also have a bonus obs from on campus. i was eating lunch in the quad area because the weather was nice and i heard what sounded like someone's voice breaking. i looked up and there was this girl sitting pretty near me, though not looking at me at all, on the phone with someone speaking in what might have been russian? she was pretty, blonde with blue eyes that were full of tears. while i watched the tears fell, just fell straight down her cheeks and dropped onto her light grey shirt. she didn't even wipe them away, just kept talking in maybe-russian with her voice breaking. the tears didn't really form streaks, they fell in droplets, but there were a lot of them. every time she blinked more tears would fall, and her eyes were really full of them. i would have said something to her when she got off the phone, but she got up and walked away still on the call, and i didn't want to bother her.

thanks for reading!